


Oasis

by MrsWhozeewhatsis (OxfordCommaLover)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Multi, One Night Stands, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3848941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OxfordCommaLover/pseuds/MrsWhozeewhatsis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The original idea for this was what would you do if you met Dean and Cas after their failed night at the "den of iniquity?" How would you get Cas to relax? After the first chapter was written, it kind of grew from there. I don't own any of the characters or the music mentioned. I'm just borrowing the things I love. </p><p>(Side note: This has been a challenge to myself to get more comfortable writing smut. You be the judge if I'm any good at it!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Music: (listed in order of mentions)  
> 1st song - "Beautiful In my Eyes" by Joshua Kadison.  
> 2nd song - "At This Moment" by Billy Vera and the Beaters  
> 3rd song - "Never Saw A Miracle" by Curtis Stigers  
> 4th song - "Painted Desert Serenade" by Joshua Kadison  
> The CD in question is Joshua Kadison's "Painted Desert Serenade." (If you like well-told stories sung by a beautiful voice with piano accompaniment, Joshua Kadison is for you!)  
> 5th song - "Georgia Rain" by Joshua Kadison

It was getting close to midnight on a Tuesday night and your bar, The Oasis, was empty. It was nights like this that made you seriously consider closing early, but every time you did, there was always one more customer who limped in as you reached for the lock on the door. You had already cleaned everything that could be cleaned, short of the final wipe and mop down of the place, completed the crossword puzzle from the paper, finished your last book, and checked out every social media app you were plugged into, so you sat. And waited. Not even the TV interested you tonight. You looked around the place, a little proud that you had managed to keep it going after your dad died and left it to you. It wasn’t going to make you millions, but you survived. You stared at the door again, willing someone to open it. Five minutes later, you were still sitting by yourself when you decided to throw in the towel.

Sure enough, just when you reached the door, the handle was pulled from your reach by a couple of guys on their way in. You weren’t sure if you were happy or sad to see the door open, until you saw what came through. _Holy cow, these guys are gorgeous!_ First in the door was a wall of a man in jeans and the kind of work clothes your dad used to wear when he worked construction. He was tall, at least 6’1”, with cropped, light brown hair, sparkling green eyes, and broad shoulders. He passed you as he came in the door, and you got a whiff of soap, whiskey, and something else that reminded you of your dad’s old car. Maybe it was leather, maybe it was gas, maybe it was oil, or maybe some mix of the three. You watched him saunter towards the bar and admired the view from behind. _Bow legs and an ass that won’t quit._ If you had thought you could get away without him hearing it, you would have whistled.

You focused on his friend, who gave you a very different vibe. He was also tall, though a hair shorter than his friend, and also well built, but he was hiding it under a suit and a trench coat. He had dark hair that looked like it hadn’t seen a comb in a while, and the look suited him. You hurried to get behind the bar and ask them what they wanted. As you turned around and faced them, you realized Trench Coat had the bluest eyes you’d ever seen in your life. You felt your words dry up in your mouth as you got lost in them for a moment. When you realized you were staring, you shook your head to clear it and pushed yourself to not act like a freaking teenager.

“What can I get you boys?”

“Two beers, please,” said Bow Legs with a smile that nearly took your breath away.

“Coming right up.” As you poured, you took in the two men, trying to get a read on them. Bow Legs seemed charming, maybe a little too charming. Something told you he was fully aware of the effect he had on women. He moved with an easy confidence that was sexy as hell. Trench Coat, on the other hand, was stiff as a board and seemed completely unable to smile. He fidgeted on the bar stool, and barely acknowledged you when you pushed his beer in front of him. “So, what brings you boys out this late on a week night?” Trench Coat continued fidgeting, giving his friend worried glances, while Bow Legs just laughed.

“Just having a last hurrah before, uh, starting a new job tomorrow. Last night of freedom kind of thing.” Trench Coat’s eyes got big and Bow Legs grinned at him. Trench Coat rolled his eyes nervously, and gulped down half of his beer in one go. You decided to give them some space, and tried to make yourself busy doing something away from them. You pulled out the radio you liked to listen to when you were closing up and turned it on just to make some noise. The two men talked a little while you were out of earshot, and you saw Trench Coat get up and leave. Bow Legs was shaking his head as you returned.

“Beer not up to his standards?” You pointed at his beer, amber liquid still foaming in the glass. Bow Legs chuckled.

“No, he’s just… weird.” He smiled and shook his head. “He’s just a weird, dorky little guy sometimes. He’s a good guy, though, once you get past all the, you know, weird.” He smiled as he finished his beer and motioned for another.

“I have to ask. You and your friend go out for a ‘last hurrah,’ and you end up here? An empty bar? I can think of a dozen places I’d go that are more interesting than here. I like the business, don’t get me wrong, but this place ain’t exactly hoppin’, if you know what I mean?” Bow Legs laughed and shook his head.

“Well, I took him to that place over on 8th Street…” he wiggled an eyebrow and smiled as your eyes widened. “…but we kind of got thrown out.” He chuckled again and shook his head.

“You got THROWN out? Of a cat house? Seriously? I need to hear this story, now!” Bow Legs shook his head.

“No, no, it’s a really long story. I won’t bore you.” You looked at him with an eyebrow cocked, then gestured around the place.

“I’ve got nothing but time, buddy. Please. Spill!” You pulled up a stool behind the bar and had a seat, leaning your crossed arms on the bar in front of you. Bow Legs looked at you long and hard, and then shook his head again and smiled. He put out his hand for you to shake, and you took it.

“My name’s Dean. His name is Cas.”

“Y/N. Nice to meet you, Dean. Now, talk!” You grinned at him and he kept smiling.

“It’s more his story to tell than mine, really.” You gave him a look and he gave in. “Well, see, he comes from this really religious family. You know, no sex before marriage and all of that. Recently, he rebelled, big time. Got almost completely away from the whole business. Well, tomorrow isn’t really a new job, it’s got more to do with going up against his family again. If things go badly tomorrow, well, tonight could be his last night to really let loose. Kind of his last night on earth, you know? So, when I realized he had never, you know, because of how strict his family was, I took him down to 8th Street.” Dean took a long pull from his beer. “Personally, I have a ‘no cash for ass’ policy, but desperate times and all that. Five minutes after he disappears, I hear screaming. Turns out he said something to the girl that freaked her out, something about her father, knowing him he meant something religious, I guess, and she kicked him out.” Dean laughed, almost unable to speak. “He didn’t even get his freaking coat off! Before I know it, security is chasing us out the back door, and here we are!” You chuckled along with him as you refilled his beer.

“He’s really a virgin, huh? Man, I didn’t think those existed anymore!” You entertained the thought of teaching the blue-eyed man a thing or two, then shook the thought away with a blush. “So, do you guys live around here, or are you just passing through?”

“Just passing through. The big showdown with his family is around here somewhere, I think. He’s calling the shots, I’m just backup.” You smiled at Dean and considered what a good friend he obviously was to Cas.

“Where are you staying? There aren’t exactly a ton of motels around here.”

“Well, I had planned on staying at the place on 8th Street, if you catch my drift. Now, I’m not so sure. We’ll find somewhere to crash. We always do.” You looked at Dean, sizing him up, considering everything he had already told you. He seemed like a nice enough guy. And if what he said about Cas was true, then you wouldn’t have to worry about them stealing from you. You considered the couch in the back office, the couch in your living room upstairs, and the bed in your bedroom upstairs. You got up and pretended to clean something to hide the blush that took over your face. Before you knew what you were doing, the words had already fallen from your mouth.

“Then I guess you’re staying here. There’s a couch in the office that isn’t too lumpy, and a couch in the living room of my apartment upstairs. Plenty of room for both of you.” Dean’s eyes widened and he shook his head.

“Oh, no, no, no. We couldn’t ask you to do that! We’ll do fine. It won’t be the first time I’ve camped out in my car, and it won’t be the last.” You put on your determined face and glared at him.

“You’re not asking, I’m offering, and I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it. He shouldn’t be spending what you called ‘his last night on earth’ sleeping in a cold car. He can have the non-lumpy sofa upstairs.” You chuckled and winked at Dean, giving him a playful slap on the arm. Dean smiles at you. “Besides, you guys can help me close up. I’ll always take help with sweeping and mopping.”

“Well, all right, then. I’ll go get him out of the car.” Dean got up and headed out the door, returning a few minutes later with Cas. Cas still looked nervous and jumpy, but when he sat down at the bar, he smiled at you shyly.

“Thank you, Y/N, for the offer of shelter for the night. To return the favor, I would be glad to help you with whatever tasks you require assistance with.” You smiled at his old-fashioned turn of phrase and tried to ignore the butterflies the sincerity in his eyes ignited in your stomach. You cleared your throat and grabbed a rag and a bottle of cleaner from behind the bar.

“Okay, someone needs to wipe down the tables, then sweep the floors and mop. I’ll lock up and do my paperwork.” You looked at both men and smiled as Dean took off his jacket, then grabbed the rag and cleaner. You handed the broom to Cas, and he looked at it with some confusion on his face before Dean pulled him away from you and they got to work.

As you busied yourself with locking up and doing your paperwork, you watched the two men. Both were strong and well-built, and you chuckled when Dean finally got Cas to take off his coat. Something about watching a man in a suit sweep your floors amused you. If you didn’t know better, you would think he had never swept a floor in his life. Watching his awkwardness made you smile and want to hug him or something. You could easily see why Dean took care of him like he did. You had a soft heart for strays, and Cas just seemed like the most attractive stray you’d ever seen.

You squealed and turned up the radio when you heard an old favorite song of yours come on. It was a slow song you had loved, and Dean smiled when he heard you squeal. You looked at Cas, and wondered if he had ever even slow danced. There was only one way to find out. You walked over to where he was sweeping, put a hand on his arm to stop his movement, and looked up into his eyes.

“May I have this dance, kind sir?” You did a little curtsy and smiled up at him. His face turned beet red and he stammered incoherently, his eyes flying to Dean in fear. Dean nodded his head and encouraged him, which seemed to just increase his nervousness, as his eyes widened even further and he took a step back. You took the broom from his hand, setting it aside. Grabbing his hand, you pulled him to an open spot in the middle of the room. He stumbled after you, almost running into you when you stopped and turned around. You looked up into his frightened face and tried to give him your kindest smile. You put his right hand on the small of your back, smiling wider at how his eyes got even bigger when his hand touched your back. You picked up his left hand, putting it in place in the air, then placed your right hand in it. He jumped a little when your left hand touched his shoulder. You smiled up at him again, and then spoke to him quietly. “Just listen to the music, and move your feet with the beat. I’ll follow you, I promise.” He stared down at his feet, and screwed his face into a frown of deep concentration.

“I don’t want to step on you,” he said into his chest.

“Don’t worry about that. I’m just as likely to step on you. If it happens, we’ll just try again.” Cas kept staring down at your feet, so you leaned down until he looked up to you. “Hey, look at me, listen to the music, and our feet will sort themselves out, okay?” You smiled at him and he gave you a nervous smile in return, still glancing down at his feet every now and then. You pulled yourself closer to him to get him to stop looking down, and heard the hitch in his breath as your cheek brushed his. “This is what the old folks used to call ‘dancing cheek to cheek.’ Very romantic, don’t you think?” Cas cleared his throat and you felt him nod. You relaxed a bit into his arms as you felt him start to relax, too. You listened to the words of the song, humming softly as you danced.

_You’re my Mona Lisa/You’re my rainbow skies/And my only prayer is that you realize/You’ll always be beautiful in my eyes._

As you moved to the music, you idly moved your hand on his shoulder, feeling strong muscles under the suit. You couldn’t quite place what he smelled like, though. It was sweet, and made you feel comfortable and safe, you knew that much. There was a hint of beer, most likely because he was cleaning your bar, a hint of cookies baking, and something like the air after a spring rain.

The song ended too soon and you separated. You looked up into his face and felt the butterflies in your stomach go into a frenzy when he smiled at you. You took a deep breath and tried to shake it off with a joke.

“Thank you, kind sir, for the dance. I enjoyed it very much!” You did another half curtsy and gave him what felt like a goofy grin. You groaned inwardly at what you had said and wondered if you could have possibly said anything goofier. Well, at least it matched your grin. Amazingly, he stood there smiling at you, and you had to tear yourself away from him to go back to your paperwork.

A little while later, you heard Dean and Cas almost arguing with each other at the other end of the bar, and then Cas came over to sit by you while Dean mopped the floor.

“Apparently, I keep walking through what Dean has mopped and ruining it.” Cas cleared his throat and looked up at you nervously. “He thinks I should ask you to dance again so I’ll stay out of his way. I told him you are obviously too busy to dance, but he really wants me out of his way.” You looked at Cas with a small smile.

“Do you want to dance some more?” Cas’s cheeks turned pink and he looked down at his hands and smiled.

“I would very much like to dance with you again, if it’s all right with you.” He looked up at you nervously. You smiled at him, put up a finger to tell him to wait a minute, and finished what you were doing.

“There, I’m all done for the night.” You put the paperwork under the bar, figuring you could put it away in the morning. You looked up at Cas, suddenly a little nervous, yourself. You walked around the bar and joined him where he was standing. On the radio was the late night love songs show, where people would call in with dedications and such, so most of the songs were slow songs. Another old favorite started up, and when Cas held out his hand, you put yours in his. This time, his hand easily found the small of your back, and he pulled you close right away. You put your right hand on his chest, and he covered it with his left before leaning into you until his cheek was next to yours.

_What do you think I would give at this moment/If you’d stay I’d subtract twenty years from my life/I’d fall down on my knees/And kiss the ground that you walk on/If I could just hold you again._

Even though the song slowed down and lost its beat near the end, Cas continued to hold you close and sway as if it hadn’t changed. As the song ended, you pulled your head away from his and looked up at his face. He smiled gently at you, and as the next song started, he pulled you back towards him as he found the new rhythm.

_But I never saw a miracle ‘til baby, I found you/I prayed I’d find my Heaven, then all my prayers came true/No, I never saw a miracle, I was blind, but now, I see/The miracle is the love you give to me, oh, oh, oh/The miracle is you and me._

You tried not to be affected by the music, by the solid feel of this man next to you, but you failed. You could feel his heart beating under your hand, and it was a soothing beat. As the song ended and a faster song began, you came out of your trance and pulled away from him nervously. You couldn’t believe it, but you felt like you were at a high school dance again, all nerves and hormones. You looked around, and realized that Dean was gone.

“I guess I should make sure Dean found the office couch okay and shut off the lights before we head upstairs.” You snuck a peek at Cas’s face and saw his cheeks turn pink again. You thought his blush was about the most endearing thing you’d ever seen. You forced yourself to look away, but grabbed his hand and led him around while you turned off lights and stuck your head into the office. Dean was already making himself comfortable on the couch, so you just told him to come upstairs if he needed anything and bid him good night.

“Wild horses couldn’t drag me up those stairs tonight, sweetheart,” Dean said with a smirk and a wink. You blushed furiously, and he chuckled. “I’ll be fine. You two go. It’s late and we have to leave early.” With that, he flopped down on the couch and waved the two of you away.

Cas followed you up the stairs and into your apartment. You kicked off your shoes inside the door and he followed suit. You showed him the rack where he could hang his jacket, and he used it. Your eyes nearly bugged out when you saw him without the jacket hiding his form. Suddenly, you could see the strength and solidity you had felt when you were dancing. You turned away to stop yourself from staring. You offered him something to eat or drink, but he declined. You tried to make idle chit chat with him while you got yourself some juice to drink, pointing out where the bathroom was and letting him know he could use whatever he needed.

“Well, I guess you’ll want to head straight to bed, too.” As the double meaning of what you just said hit you, you felt the flush take over your cheeks. “I mean, I guess you’re tired and want to get to sleep soon, since Dean said you have to leave early.” The flush refused to leave your cheeks and you suddenly wished the floor would open up and swallow you whole. Cas peered at you strangely for a moment, then smiled, with a faint pink tinge to his cheeks, too.

“Ah, no. I do not require much sleep at all. I’m fine, unless you want to go to bed…” Your cheeks got even hotter as your mind continued to ponder all the ways you could go to bed with this man that didn’t involve sleep. “…to sleep, I mean.” Cas began to study your apartment, the ceiling, the walls, the floor, and pretty much anything that wasn’t you, while he fidgeted nervously.

“Um, no, I’m fine. I’ve always been a night owl. Bar hours suit me.” You smiled, and heaved a sigh of relief when you felt your cheeks start to cool. “Dean was telling me about your family. It sounds really interesting. Would you want to talk about that?” You searched your mind for possible topics of conversation, but really all you wanted was to be in his arms again like you were when you were dancing. Somehow, this whole small talk thing just seemed like a poor substitute for being close to him.

“I would rather dance some more with you, if you would like that?” Cas smiled shyly at you again, and you thought you’d never get over seeing that smile.

“I’d love that.” You headed over to your stereo, and popped in an old CD that had on it the first song you had danced to. As the music started to play, you walked over to Cas and he took you in his arms. You put both hands on his shoulders, and he put both of his hands around your waist like they belonged there. You could feel the heat from his body warming and relaxing you, and you smiled. Soon, you were absentmindedly rubbing circles into his shoulder with your thumb. When your other hand moved into the hair on his neck, you heard his breath hitch and he cleared his throat. You felt warmth beginning to pool between your thighs, and hoped that you were interpreting his signs to mean he was feeling the same attraction. His fingers pressed into the flesh on your lower back, but he didn’t pull you closer to him. As you heard the first song end, you sighed, wondering if he would want to stop. He didn’t move away from you, though, so you just kept on dancing through the quiet between songs.

As the first few notes of the second song played, you almost froze, and then suppressed a moan. Had you remembered that this song was on this particular CD, you might have chosen another one just to avoid a potentially embarrassing moment. As it was, there was no getting away from it, now. You tried not to think about the images the words to the song provoked, but failed.

_He tells her, “I want to paint you naked on a big brass bed/With bright orange poppies all around your head.”/And she says, “Crazy old man, I’m not young anymore.”/”That’s all right,” he whispers, “I’ve never painted before.”_

You listened to the chorus, the man asking his love if she loved him and describing the crazy things she made him do, and wondered if Cas was listening to the words, too. When the second verse started, your breath hitched, and you thought you heard Cas’s breath get ragged a moment later.

_“Oh, and I want to read your tea leaves by candle light/On a fat, red velvet sofa, I want to be with you all night/I want to tickle your feet, with a peacock plume.”/And she says, “Can you talk a little softer, there are people in the room.”_

_Do you love me, Lady Jane, Lady Jane?/Do you love me, Lady Jane? Lady Jane?/You’ve got me talking to the moon/you’ve got me walking in the rain/Do you love me, do you love me, Lady Jane?_

The words of the rest of the song forgotten in the haze created by the first two verses, you began to notice everything about how close Cas was to you. His hands on your back seemed warmer, his breath by your ear more intimate, and the scruff on his cheek as it rubbed against yours was sending warmth shooting through your body.

By the end of the song, you were feeling very warm, especially between your thighs, and you pulled your head away from Cas’s to look into his eyes. His pupils were wide, his cheeks were pink, and you thought you saw a mixture of fear and desire on his face. Impulsively, you pulled his head closer to yours and placed your lips on his, not moving for a moment. He froze, no longer swaying to the music, and then one hand slid up your back and he started moving his mouth against yours. Soon, your mouths were open and your tongues were dancing while your hands went into his hair and his hands pulled you closer. As he pressed you to him, you felt the bulge in his pants and moaned. Your moan seemed to spur him on, and one hand slid under your shirt in the back and then down to your ass. He squeezed the flesh there through your jeans and groaned into your mouth. You finally came up for air, and looked into his eyes again.

“Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, Dean told me you were raised not to, well, do this, before marriage and all. I don’t want you to regret this in the morning.” A look of fear crossed over his face and he looked away as he pulled himself away from you just enough that you could no longer feel his arousal pressing against you.

“If you don’t want to, you know, since I haven’t, um, before, then I completely understand.” He started to pull himself further away, and you grabbed his face with both of your hands and pulled it to yours, kissing him fiercely.

“You being a virgin is not a problem for me, if it’s not a problem for you. I won’t regret this in the morning. I’m just worried that you will.” Cas searched your eyes, and you wondered for a moment if he could read your mind. You ran your fingers through his hair, then moved your hips closer to his so you could feel him against you again, and your eyes fluttered as you whimpered. Suddenly, his lips were on yours again and he was grinding his hips into yours, creating a tension in your stomach and further soaking your panties. He came up for air again and looked into your eyes.

“I won’t regret this in the morning.” He looked down shyly, then glanced around the room again, afraid to look you in the eye. “You don’t mind, um, teaching me?” You crashed your lips back onto his, and started raking your nails over his scalp until you tugged on his hair and pulled your lips away.

“Definitely not.” With that, you loosened his tie, and pulled it away from his collar, sending it flying across the room behind you. His hands grabbed the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head, and the look of pure lust and amazement that came over his face as he saw you made your knees weak. You started working on the buttons of his shirt, kissing the flesh as you revealed it, until you were almost on your knees in front of him. You stood up and grabbed his hand, leading him to your bedroom.

Once in the bedroom, you finished unbuttoning his shirt and slid it off of his shoulders. You admired his physique for a moment, and wondered how much time he had to spend in a gym to look so good. You were drawn out of your trance by his lips crashing into yours and his hands on your back, pulling you closer. You found his belt buckle and released it, then opened his pants and shoved them down his legs with his boxers. You tore your lips from his to look down and felt your breath catch in your throat. Everything about him was beautiful, and his hardened cock was no different. You pushed him onto the bed and sent the last of his clothing flying across the room. His eyes were on you while you slowly unbuttoned your jeans and slid them down your legs, leaving you in just your bra and panties. As you bent over to pull your jeans from your feet, he groaned and closed his eyes, his head falling back onto the bed and his fingers gripping the sheets.

While his eyes were closed, you crawled onto the bed on top of him, kissing your way up his torso until your legs were straddling his hips. As you ground your covered core into his hardened cock, you both groaned, and he grabbed your head and brought you down to kiss him fiercely. When he came up for air, his hands fell to your hips, so you took his hands in yours and put them on your breasts. Even through your bra you could feel the warmth of his hands and you felt another shot of heat go between your thighs. You leaned down and left a trail of kisses from his collarbone up his neck, then whispered in his ear.

“Do you want me to make you come with my mouth?” You backed away to see his face, and his eyes were wide open, as was his mouth, and you could see he was completely lost. His hands kneaded you through your bra, his hips were moving against yours, and all he could do was close his eyes and groan. You took that as a yes, and moved back down his body. While you nipped and licked and kissed his nipples and his flat stomach, you took him in your hand and pumped him tentatively a couple of times. His hips rose up into your hand, and you knew he was close already. You looked up at him while you kissed the tip, and you saw his eyes go wide before his head fell back as you drew him into your mouth slowly. You used one hand to cover what wasn’t in your mouth, and cupped his balls with the other. One of his hands reached down and grabbed your shoulder, his fingers pressing into your flesh as he moaned. You ran your tongue in circles around his tip, then sucked him into your mouth again, and you wondered if his fingers would leave bruises with the way he was gripping you. It wasn’t long before you felt him stiffen and he came into your mouth with a yell. You gently worked him through it, cleaning him with your tongue, then crawled back up his body.

While his breathing was slowing down, his eyes opened and he looked at you in amazement. He tangled a hand into your hair, then searched your face before drawing you to him and kissing you passionately. When he finally loosened his hold, he looked at you seriously.

“Show me how to make you feel like that.” You nodded and smiled at him, then sat up and unclasped your bra. He sat up next to you, then you drew him back down with you, putting one of his hands on your breast, and guiding his head to your chest. His fingers began tentatively kneading and teasing on one side while he kissed the flesh around your nipple on the other. When his mouth finally landed where you wanted it, you moaned and arched your back into him. He was a fast learner, and soon you were writhing underneath him. You wanted more, so you guided his hand down your body and into your panties. With your fingers over his, you had him rub circles around your clit until your hips were bucking wildly. You started to push down your panties, and he pulled them off quickly, tossing them onto the floor. You moved his hand farther down, and he slowly pushed two fingers into you. As he started pumping with his fingers, he took his mouth away from your breast and kissed his way to your ear.

“Should I use my mouth like you did?” Through the haze of desire he had put you into, you pulled his head towards you and kissed him until you were seeing stars. As you let go of his head, you whispered, “Yes,” and moaned as his mouth trailed down your body. When his mouth reached your clit and began teasing it, you bucked your hips and started moaning his name. Before long, he had figured out what moves made you moan the loudest, and he kept hitting the right spots over and over until you completely came apart. As you came down, he licked his fingers and wiped off his mouth, smiling proudly. He lay down next to you, hands and mouth roaming your body, until you started running your fingers through his hair. You pulled him up to you and kissed him, and he pressed himself against you, warming your entire body with his. You felt him hardening against your hip and smiled.

You reached between you and caught hold of him in your hand, slowly pumping while he explored your body with his hands and mouth. When you felt him getting impatient, you sat up, forcing him to lie back, and climbed onto him. Your hips straddled his, his cock hard and leaking between you. You smiled down at him as he looked up at you in awe while you pumped him a couple more times with your hand. When his eyes closed and he let out a groan, you shifted forwards, lining him up with you, then slowly sank down onto him. You moaned with the feeling of him filling you up inside. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing your chest against his, and thrusting his tongue into your mouth. You started to move your hips, and his mouth left yours to let out a series of unholy noises. His hands kept traveling down to your hips, then back up to your breasts and down again, like he couldn’t decide where he wanted them. He seemed to get impatient with the pace you had set, and suddenly, he held you to him and flipped the two of you over so that he was on top. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and he gripped one tightly while holding himself up with his other arm. You dug your nails into his back and grabbed his ass, trying to pull him closer to you. His mouth found your neck and you knew you would have marks there in the morning from his teeth and lips as he nibbled and sucked. His hips started slamming into yours, and you were surprised when you felt his fingers start to rub your clit. With the combined intensity of his fingers, his thrusting, and his mouth, you came apart around him quickly, and he followed you a moment after. After you fell apart, and your breathing was slowing, he wrapped you in his arms and kissed your forehead. He pulled the covers up over both of you, and made sure you were comfortable. You dozed off to him stroking your hair and giving you occasional little kisses on your face.

When you woke up in the morning, the bed was cold, with just a note on the other pillow. _I’m sorry to leave before you’re awake, but I have to go. Thank you for everything. – C_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes back for a visit when he needs a shoulder to lean on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut here, just fluffiness.

It had been more than a year since your night with Cas, and you had finally accepted that you would never see him again. You couldn’t help but wonder what had happened with his family and if he was all right. The first few weeks had been filled with anxious glances at the door every time it opened, and then slowly, he was no longer the first thought you had in the morning. It was a few months before you stopped thinking of him before you went to sleep, though a new boyfriend in your life had helped in that regard. The relationship didn’t last long, but it had kind of cleansed your palate of the passionately sincere virgin.

All of your hard work to erase that night from your mind fell apart on a busy Friday night. You were having a good time flirting with some of the regulars when a giant of a man walked up to the bar and completely undressed you with his eyes. He was at least 6’4”, with long, shaggy brown hair, arresting hazel eyes, and a powerful physique that even denim and flannel just couldn’t hide. As you turned to him to get his order, his eyes were very slowly roaming over your curves, and the look on his face told you he liked what he saw. You rolled your eyes and inwardly groaned.

“What can I get for you?” The man slowly licked his lips and smiled appreciatively.

“When my brother said the owner of this place was sweet, he did not do you justice.” His eyes again wandered, but finally rested on your face, giving you a cocky smile. You raised an eyebrow and wondered how many women actually fell for lines like that. Looking at his body, the stubble on his chin, and the confident gleam in his eye, you figured just about every woman this man met fell for him. He was almost predatory, which is why you could resist him. You were not any man’s prey.

“Oh, really? And who’s your brother?” You gave him a dismissive look, hoping to take the wind out of his sails, but he just chuckled and turned around. He waved toward the door and you almost fell to the floor when he called to his brother.

“Hey, Dean! Over here!” You looked toward the door, and the glass you had picked up landed hard on the bar. Your lungs refused to fill as your sight was filled with green eyes and bow legs. He looked almost exactly the same, until he got closer and you looked into his eyes. The almost carefree man you had met that first night had sadness and worry in his eyes. As he got closer, you looked behind him, hoping to see dark hair and a trench coat, but they weren’t there. When you looked back at him, he gave you a sad smile and just slightly shook his head. You dropped your gaze for a moment and took a deep breath.

“How have you been, Dean? It’s been a while.” When you looked back up at him, you plastered on the best smile you could muster.

“Still kickin’, Y/N. Can’t ask for much more, right?” His smile looked a little forced, but you figured it was probably no worse than your own. “Two beers, please. One for me and one for my brother, Sam, here.” You poured their drinks while you felt Sam’s eyes on you. As you handed Dean his beer, you couldn’t stop the question from leaving your mouth.

“How’s Cas? Did everything go okay?” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sam jerk at your question and look at Dean questioningly. Dean kept his gaze steady on you, though, while he answered.

“Not as good as we had hoped, but not as bad as we had feared. It all kind of worked out in the end, though. I don’t get to see him much, lately, so I can’t say much more than that, really.” You nodded and looked away when your kitchen hand called your name. You motioned that you would be right back and headed back to the kitchen. After you handled the crisis of the moment, you came back out and handled a few more customers before returning to Dean and Sam. As you approached, you saw the tail end of an argument, and then Sam’s eyes began moving around the bar. At that, you realized that he was looking for a hook up with anything in a skirt, so you looked around and spotted one of your female regulars you thought might be his type. When you reached Sam, you tapped his arm and pointed her out.

“I think she’s what you’re looking for tonight, buddy. Just make sure you’ve got protection.” His face split into a grin and you gave him a smile as he walked away. You shook your head and rolled your eyes and looked at Dean. “Seriously? And I thought you would be the skirt-chaser in the family!” You chuckled, but Dean just gave you a pained smile.

“Usually, I am. We’ve kind of switched roles, lately, I guess.” He took a long pull from his beer, emptying it, and he pushed the glass towards you. You filled it and slid it back to him, and he reached for it like he had just spent a week in the desert. This man may have been wearing the same clothes, but he was not the same man.

“Where are you staying tonight, Dean?” You put your hand on his and he looked up at you almost sadly.

“Oh, you know. I thought maybe I’d try this place I heard of down on 8th Street.” He mustered a grin and caressed your fingers with his thumb for a moment. You smiled and chuckled and shook your head.

“Funny, I heard they kick guys like you out of there all the time.” Dean finally smiled a smile that reached his eyes and you returned it. “You’re staying here and helping me close. If your brother doesn’t have other plans set up already,” you looked around and saw him kissing the girl you had pointed out to him and shook your head, “which I think he does, but if he doesn’t, he can have the lumpy sofa in the office and you can come upstairs and catch me up on what’s up with you. Deal?” Dean grinned at you and squeezed your hand before letting it go.

“Deal.”

As expected, Sam waved goodbye to you about five minutes later after discussing his plans with Dean. When Dean mentioned staying with you, Sam smiled knowingly and winked at you. You rolled your eyes, and hoped Dean wasn’t thinking what Sam was thinking. You had no intention of having Dean in your bed tonight. You had invited one strange man to bed and look where it had gotten you: alone and hurt.

After the bar was closed and it was only you and Dean cleaning up, it was quiet. You snuck peeks at him while he wiped down tables and swept and mopped the floors. He seemed to take an odd enjoyment in the work, and questions about him began to form in your mind. What did he do for a living? Where did he live? Did he have a girlfriend? There was no wedding ring, so you guessed no wife. Kids? You suddenly realized that you knew absolutely nothing about this man, except that he was a good man. And you only knew that based on how he supported his friend.

When everything was cleaned, the paperwork was done, and the trash was in the dumpster out back, you waved at the bottles behind the bar and asked Dean if there was one in particular he’d like you to take upstairs with you. He grabbed one while you grabbed a couple of glasses, and you led him up the stairs. You both got comfortable on the couch before you gave him a serious look.

“So, what exactly do you do, anyway? Besides back up your friends when they need a hand, I mean?” Dean looked up at you questioningly. “The last time you were here, you were helping Cas with his family, and I’d be willing to bet my bar you told your brother I was off limits tonight.” Dean looked a little guilty at the second part and took a drink from his glass. He took a breath and then gave you a worried look.

“I wasn’t overstepping or ruining any plans you had, was I?” You were quick to shake your head.

“Oh, no! Your brother has his charms, but I’m not up for another one night stand. It took me long enough to get over the last one.” Dean looked relieved for a moment, then concerned.

“I’m so sorry Cas disappeared on you, Y/N. Believe me, it’s for the best. He doesn’t want you getting mixed up in his mess. Neither do I, for that matter.” You looked at Dean’s face and saw the sincerity in his eyes.

“Then what brings you to my corner of the world? What do you do?” Dean took another sip from his glass.

“I guess you could call us private investigators. My brother and I travel around solving problems. We were a few hours away, in between jobs, so I suggested we stop by and see if you were still around.” He gave you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Oh, I’m not going anywhere, Dean. They will bury me here, someday, I can promise you that. But, let me get this straight. You drove several hours just to see a woman your friend had a one night stand with a year and a half ago? I don’t know if I should be flattered or concerned.” You smiled gently at him and he rubbed a hand over his face.

“I guess I just love wiping tables and mopping floors.” He gives you one his killer smiles and you decide to let it go with a chuckle.

“So, catch me up. How is Cas doing these days?” Dean gets a strange look on his face and pours himself another drink.

“I’m not really sure. He’s been keeping his distance and I don’t know why. Something’s going on, but I don’t have a clue. I’m just hoping he knows he can come to me if he needs help.” Dean downs a big swallow of the amber liquid and stares into the bottom of his glass for a minute.

“And how about you? What have you been up to?” Your bartender’s gut is telling you he wants to talk but doesn’t know how to start. You hope if you just keep pushing him gently, he’ll get out whatever is bothering him. He glances up at you with a nervous smile then stares into his glass again.

“Me? Well, after the whole mess with, uh, Cas’s family was settled, Sam went off on his own for a while, and I tried to settle down.” He shook his head and you saw the pain crease his face.

“You settled down? Like with a woman?” He glanced up at you and nodded.

“Yeah. Damn near ruined her life, too. And her kid’s. After a year, Sam came back, and I knew I had to go with him. Staying in one place too long just isn’t in me. We tried the whole long-distance thing, but it didn’t work. I kept bringing the work home with me, and she didn’t deserve that. Yet another thing I completely screwed up. I think we’re officially done, now.” He emptied his glass and set it on the coffee table. “And I’m watching my brother, who is normally not the guy you met tonight, and wondering how I’m going fix what’s obviously broken in him.” Dean filled his glass again and emptied it in one go. He was starting to slur his words and his eyes were a little glazed over. “And then there’s Cas. Keeping his distance, and I’m afraid he’s keeping secrets, but I’ve got no proof. It’s just a gut feeling.” He looked up at you with a helpless look in his eyes. Your heart broke to see the pain in his eyes. Before you knew what you were doing, you crawled into his lap like a kid, your legs stretched out on the couch next to you, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, tucking his head under your chin. His arms wound around your waist and he clung to you like the last buoy in a stormy sea. You rubbed his back and stroked his hair as you felt your shirt get damp from tears leaking from his eyes. You shushed him and whispered comforting words while he buried his face in your shirt. You finally felt him relax a little, but he didn’t make a move to separate. Muffled by your shirt, you heard him mumble, “I’m just tired, Y/N. I’m just tired.” You stroked his hair and continued to rub his back.

“Then get some rest. Take a night off and get some sleep, even if it is just on my lumpy couch.” You kissed his forehead, and continued stroking his hair and back. He didn’t move, so neither did you. After a long moment, you heard a mumbled, “Okay,” and then he pulled his legs up onto the couch next to yours, and moved you so you were resting on the arm of the sofa. His head was still tucked under your chin, and his arms were still wrapped around you. You settled into the couch with him, and continued stroking his head and back until you both fell asleep.

The next morning, you woke up in your own bed, but still fully clothed. You looked on the other side of the bed for a note, but there was nothing there. Your heart was heavy, but you didn’t know why. Nothing had happened between you, Dean didn’t owe you anything, and he had even told you that he wasn’t the type of man to stay in one place too long. So why were you disappointed?

You got changed into more comfortable clothes, and headed toward your kitchen. When you were outside of your bedroom, you smelled coffee! As you passed the empty couch, you heard noises in the kitchen. You turned the corner, and there was Dean, cooking at your stove! When you pulled a chair from the table and sat down, he turned around and gave you a weak smile.

“I hope you’re up for a greasy breakfast, because I need one.” Dean rubbed his forehead. “And trying to cook without making noise is not easy. Coffee?” You nodded and smiled and watched as he carefully poured you a cup.

“You’re very comfortable in my kitchen. More comfortable than I am. Feel free to stop by and cook whenever you want, Dean.” You smiled and Dean winced a little, but smiled back.

“As long as you promise to stop yelling, you have a deal.” Dean dug through your cabinets and found two plates, winced at the noise they made coming out of the cabinet and landing on the counter, then started serving up eggs, bacon, and pancakes. He placed a plate in front of you and your mouth watered.

“I didn’t even know I had any of this stuff in my refrigerator. Are you magic, or something?” Dean chuckled as he chewed his first bite.

“Nope, just went out early and picked up some stuff when I saw the condition of your pantry.” Dean smirked while you stared at him in wonder. “I figured I owed you a decent breakfast after you put up with my drunken ass last night.” He tucked into his food and so did you. You couldn’t believe how good everything tasted.

“Oh, my God, Dean. This is fabulous. If you ever decide to give up being a PI, you have a job as a cook here.” Dean beamed at the praise and sat up a little straighter. You heard a cell phone go off, and Dean pulled his out of his pocket.

“Yeah. Give me ten and I’ll be out.” Dean sighed and shoved the last bite of food into his mouth. “I hate to eat and run, but Sam is downstairs and itching to go. He found us another job and wants to get on the road ASAP.” He talked with his mouth full while he got up and collected his things. When he was ready to go, he grabbed the pen and paper by the phone and wrote down a phone number. “You ever need anything, no matter how weird or strange, you call me, okay?” He put the paper on the table by you and pushed it towards you. You looked at the paper for a moment, and then ripped off part of it and wrote your own numbers on it, handing it back to him.

“And if you ever need anything, you call me, okay?” You stood up next to him and watched his face as he stared at the piece of paper. You watched him smile a little and then look up at you. “I mean it, Dean. You need to talk, you need a couch to crash on, you need a beer, you need a hug, you call me, okay?” Dean’s smiled widened and then he looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite understand. He folded the paper and put it in his wallet, and was about to turn around and go when you caught his arm. You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, and he immediately took you in his arms and hugged you. When he finally let you go, he kissed you on the forehead before picking up his stuff and walking out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets injured on a hunt near The Oasis, and Sam spills the beans about, well, everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut here, just some fluffiness and a bit of blood. Oh, and Reader flips her lid, but it's funny.

It was almost closing time on another dead weekday night when the door to the bar slammed open with a loud bang and Sam came running in, dragging along a half-conscious, bloody Dean. Sam half walked him, half dragged him, over to the biggest table and laid him out on it. You jumped from where you had been sitting and ran over to see what was happening.

“I’m sorry for barging in like this, ma’am, but my brother, here, was attacked just now, and this was the closest place that was open.” Dean groaned, and Sam looked at him in alarm.

“Sam, what the hell happened? Should I call 911?” You started to run to the phone, but Sam gabbed your arm and stopped you. You looked up and saw a look of pure confusion on his face.

“Wait, you know me?” You stared at him in equal confusion.

“Of course, Sam. Dean brought you in about six months ago, I guess it was. I mean, we didn’t talk much, but we met. Don’t you remember?” Sam sighed and furrowed his brow.

“I’m having a bit of a memory problem. Lost some time. Sorry.” Just then, Dean groaned again and both of you shifted your focus to the injured man. “Do you have a first aid kit in the back?”

“Of course. I have to for OSHA regs. But shouldn’t I just call an ambulance?” Sam jumped at the suggestion.

“No! Um, no. It’s better if I just fix him up myself. Uh, Dean hates hospitals.” You ran to get the first aid kit, and when you came back, Sam had ripped off the remains of Dean’s shirt and was trying to mop up Dean’s blood with the rags. You handed Sam the first aid kit, and he said a quick thanks, then asked for some clean towels and a bottle of whiskey. You grabbed what he requested and then watched in awe as Sam expertly sewed the gashes on Dean’s chest and stomach back together. You sat by Dean’s head, stroking his face and his hair, even after he passed out a few minutes into Sam’s patch up job. When Sam was done, he ran out to their car and came back with a bag. You worked on cleaning up the table around Dean and the bloody towels as Sam pulled a clean shirt from the bag. You looked at Dean, still covered in crusted blood and dirt, and then looked at Sam.

“Don’t put a clean shirt on him until we can get him cleaned up. My apartment’s upstairs, we can get him washed and dried and redressed up there.” Sam nodded, and you locked the door and shut off the neon Open sign. You grabbed his bag and led the way to the stairs in the back, Sam carrying Dean. By the time the two of you were upstairs, Dean was awake and groaning again. You pointed the way to the bathroom, and Sam leaned Dean against the sink. He stripped Dean down to his boxers, and then got him into the tub. You gave Sam some towels and soap to use, and helped Sam by washing the dirt and blood out of Dean’s hair. Dean’s eyes were mostly closed throughout the ordeal, but he did open them once while you were rinsing shampoo off of his head with a cup. He looked up at you and mumbled your name, then shook his head and started weakly saying, “No, no, no, no,” over and over again. When he was finally clean, you pulled a complete change of clothes from the bag and left Sam to change Dean. When Sam was done, he opened the door, and you told him to put Dean in your bed so he could rest.

While Sam cleaned up the dirty clothes in the bathroom, you sat next to Dean on the bed, staring at his face and holding one of his hands. You mumbled to him softly, “Dean, what the hell did you get yourself into?” When he didn’t respond, you wiped away a tear that fell down your cheek and kissed his forehead. You wrote him a note telling him to call you if he woke up, and left it on the night stand next to his phone. You kissed his forehead again, this time leaving your lips on his skin for an extra moment, telling yourself you were trying out your mom’s old trick to check for a fever. When you stood up, Sam was in the doorway, watching you. You felt your face get flushed and tried to brush it off.

“All right, Sam, we have some cleaning up to do downstairs. You get to wipe down the tables, sweep, and mop, while I close up everything else. That and an explanation of what happened are your payment for the roof over your head tonight. Deal?” Sam smiled a gentle smile and nodded.

When you both got downstairs, you reached for the whiskey bottle and two glasses, pouring a generous amount in each glass. You pushed one to Sam and took the other for yourself.

“All right, buddy, now what the hell happened?” Sam took a long drink from his glass and then stared into his glass, swirling the liquid around.

“Werewolf. I got it in the end, but not before it took a chunk out of Dean.” Sam was still staring into his glass, possibly replaying the incident in his mind.

“Wait, what? Did you say werewolf? What are you talking about, Sam?” Sam looked up at you in alarm and almost jumped out of his chair.

“Oh, man. Crap. I thought you knew.” Sam ran both of his hands through his hair and looked at you in a panic.

“Knew what, Sam?” Sam sat back down and sighed.

“That’s why he didn’t want me to bring him here.” Sam shook his head. “Crap.” Sam downed the rest of his whiskey and looked at you apologetically. “Dean and I are hunters. Werewolves, vampires, ghosts, demons, ghouls, angels…whatever big bad thing you’ve ever heard about and thought wasn’t real…it’s real, and we hunt them.” Your eyes widened and you shook your head in amazement. “I assumed Dean had met you while working a previous case, so therefore you knew who we were. I’m sorry.” You finished your whiskey and poured more into both glasses.

“I met Dean a couple of years back when he stopped in here with Cas. They told me Cas was in the middle of something with his family, they stayed one night, and disappeared by morning.” Sam’s eyes widened and he gasped.

“You’re Cas’s girl!” Your eyebrows shot up and your eyes widened.

“I’m sorry, what?” You blinked at Sam and he got flushed and nervous, but smiled.

“Um, well, I heard about you and, um, Cas.” He lowered his eyes, and now you felt the flush return to your cheeks. “Sorry. It was kind of, well, news, to me that angels even have sex…” Sam trailed off when he saw your jaw drop. “...And you didn’t know Cas is an angel, and I’m an idiot who really needs to shut his mouth right now.”

“Cas is an ANGEL?? Like with wings and harps and bows and arrows?” Sam laughs and shakes his head.

“Not that kind of angel. I’m not sure any angel really is that kind of angel. He’s a soldier, really. Think less fluffy and more badass.” You were still reeling with this information and you shook your head.

“I’m going to hell. I corrupted an angel. I am officially going to hell.” You dropped your head into your hands and then ran your hands through your hair. You were in a near panic at the thought of burning for all eternity in a fiery pit, and you saw Sam laughing.

“You are not going to hell. And if you did, Cas would just drag you back out. He’s good like that.” He was still chuckling and all you could do was stare at him slack jawed. You took a moment to really look at Sam, and he stopped chuckling and nervously took a drink from his glass.

“Sam, you’re different. The last time you were in here, you were almost predatory. You had undressed me with your eyes before you even said hello, and when Dean told you I was off-limits, you barely registered my existence after that. Now, you’re completely different. Should I ask?” Sam frowned and stared into his glass again.

“It’s a long story. Short version is that I lost my soul for a while. I have it back, now, but I don’t remember the time when I didn’t have it.” You thought about what Dean had told you about his brother the last time you saw him. Something was wrong and he didn’t know how to fix it.

“Dean figured out how to fix it, didn’t he?” You spoke quietly with a little bit of awe. Sam nodded.

“Yeah. He did. Risked his own life, and apparently had to fight me in the end, but he did it.” Sam took a drink and then stared into the glass again. You marveled at the man currently asleep in your bed.

“Well, let’s get this place cleaned up and closed up and head upstairs to get some sleep. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.” You showed Sam where the cleaning supplies were, and you both got to work. Sam had the place sparkling in no time at all, and you offered him another drink while you finished your paperwork. The two of you exchanged idle chitchat, Sam asking questions about you and your life, you asking questions about him and Dean. By the time you were done, you had a pretty good picture of what life as a hunter was like. It sounded completely alien to you, with all the travel alone, since you had practically been born in The Oasis and stayed there all your life. Add into it monsters and losing family, and you couldn’t imagine how the brothers survived.

When you went upstairs, you got some extra blankets and pillows for Sam, and he settled into the couch after checking on his brother. You bid him good night and headed into your bedroom. Dean was still asleep, so you quietly got changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt and carefully crawled into your bed next to him. You turned off the light, and when you turned over, in the faint light from the hallway, you saw Dean’s eyes open. He groaned, and started to move, which made him wince, and you turned the light back on and shushed him. He fell back onto the pillows and looked up at you, and then his eyes widened before he closed them and grimaced, cursing under his breath.

“Son of a bitch. I told Sam not to bring me here.” You sat next to him on the bed, and put your hands on his face, stroking his hair and shushing him. When he finally opened his eyes to look at you, you saw a mixture of anger, fear, and regret wash over his face.

“I’m glad Sam brought you here. If I had found out this had happened in my front yard and you didn’t come to me, I would have torn you apart myself.” You smiled at him, and when he didn’t return the smile, you kissed his forehead and then looked at him for a long while. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I suppose you’d like an explanation for all of this, huh?” Dean pulled your hands from his head and held them in his own. You shook your head.

“Nope. Already got it out of Sam. All of it. And the truth, this time.” You watched the look of alarm cross Dean’s face and turn to anger.

“Son of a bitch! He is never going to hear the end of this.” You squeezed his hands and shushed him again.

“It’s not his fault. He thought I knew, he let it slip, and now I know. No big deal, Dean. Now, will you relax before you bust a stitch?” Dean stopped shaking his head, but still looked angry. “Hey, do you need anything, now that you’re awake? Food, water, bathroom?”

“If I do, my jackass of a brother will be the one getting it for me since he owes me big time, right now. Speaking of, where is he?”

“Passed out on my couch. So, I will be your handmaiden for the evening, sir.” You dipped your head and mimed tipping your hat to him, and then put your hand back in his. “What can I help you with?” Dean tried not to, but you saw a hint of a smile come to his face.

“Well, a trip to the bathroom would be a good start, and then we’ll go from there.” You helped Dean stand up, at which point he said he was good from there on, and while he was in the bathroom, you put together a quick sandwich and a glass of water for him. He ate the sandwich greedily, sitting on the side of your bed, and then drank the water in one gulp. You refilled the glass, and he drank half of it again, and then said he was ready to rest again. You helped him get settled into bed, and then climbed in next to him and shut off the light. In the dark, he reached out to you with his hand, and you moved next to him until his arm was tangled in your arms with his hand on your hip, and your hand was resting on his shoulder. His thumb moved back and forth for a few minutes until you both fell asleep.

The next morning, you woke up to a cold bed again, and you jumped up and ran out of the bedroom to see where Dean had gone. You almost slammed into him and Sam, both dressed, packed, and heading out the door. Sam was carrying their bags, and Dean was leaning against the wall.

“Where do you think you’re going?” You glared up at Dean and Sam with your hands on your hips. A look of guilt, anger, and fear crossed Dean’s face before he spoke.

“Out of your hair so you don’t get caught up in our crap any more than you already have.” Dean sighed and the guilt, anger, and fear were replaced by sadness. “I didn’t want you to get sucked into this, but now that you have, the best thing we can do is get out as quickly as possible.” Anger welled up inside you. Who did he think he was? Who was he to tell you what you could and could not deal with? You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down.

“Dammit, Dean,” you sputtered for a moment, “Ah, crap, dammit, I don’t even know your last name!” You kept glaring at him while a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Winchester.” You narrowed your eyes, and Dean’s smile widened.

“Well, in that case, DEAN WINCHESTER, YOU GET YOUR PERKY ASS BACK IN THAT BED RIGHT THIS GOD DAMN MINUTE OR I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I WILL KNOCK YOU INTO NEXT WEEK WITH A FRYING PAN!” Both Dean and Sam took a step back and stared at you with wide eyes. “I will not have you leaving here until I am sure that the half-assed surgery your brother did on you last night, on what was definitely not my cleanest table, isn’t going to get infected. I don’t care what you have going on in your world of monsters and angels. It can wait one god damn day!” Sam dropped the bags to the floor and backed away.

“I’m staying out of this, you guys. I’ll be in the living room. Whatever you two decide, just let me know.” With that, Sam turned around and almost ran from the hallway. You kept glaring up at Dean, and you watched a myriad of emotions cross his face. He finally seemed to settle on frustration when he spoke.

“The longer we’re here, the more danger you’re in. It was one thing to stop by here in between hunts. It’s another thing entirely to hunt in your own front yard and then stick around. We do the job, and we get out, ASAP. I’m fine. I’ll heal on the road, like I always do.” You felt your resolve start to weaken, but then he moved toward you and winced when he brought his hands up to your shoulders. You cupped his face in your hands and he let his hands drop to your waist with a sigh.

“One day. Tomorrow morning, if you’re not showing signs of infection, I’ll pack you a freaking lunch and send you on your way with a smile. Just one day, Dean. Please?” You stroked his hair, and then let your hands fall to his arms. He closed his eyes for a moment and then sighed.

“Settle in, Sammy, we’re staying another day!” You smiled and squeezed his shoulders, knowing that was all you could do without hurting him. He rolled his eyes and shook his head, but smiled back down at you. “My ass is perky, huh?” Dean smirked and you laughed.

The day was spent chatting more about hunting, and learning more about the Winchesters. You asked about Cas, but Dean couldn’t tell you anything more than he could during his last visit. After watching Dean move carefully, you accepted that he was good enough to not be confined to bed, but you were still glad you had made him stay. When it was time to open the bar, Dean parked himself at the end of the bar, while Sam helped out wherever needed. It was another pretty dead night, so you spent most of the evening chatting with the brothers. When one of the customers played a good, fast country song on the jukebox, you taught Sam how to do the few dance moves you knew while Dean laughed from the bar.

That night, you and Dean talked for a while in bed before going to sleep. You asked him about other hunters, and he quickly changed from easy going and smiling to tense and fearful. He bolted upright with a wince, causing you to sit up, too.

“Promise me, Y/N, if other hunters come in here, you stay away from them. You don’t tell them you know us, you don’t tell them you know what they are, you just leave them alone.” You started to argue, thinking that you could help, somehow, but Dean cupped your face in his hands and forced you to look into his eyes. “No. Even the best of hunters could bring trouble raining down on you, and the worst wouldn’t care if you lived or died. And there are a lot of hunters that don’t like us. If anyone finds out you’re a friend of ours, you’ll become leverage the next time something bad wants to get to us. Promise me you’ll stay out of it, Y/N.” His hands moved down to your shoulders and he almost shook you. “Promise me!” You nodded dumbly, then found your voice again.

“I promise, Dean. I’ll stay out of it.” Dean heaved a sigh of relief, and then pulled you into a hug, even though you knew it had to hurt his injured chest to do it. You rubbed his back while he buried his head in your shoulder. When he finally started to let go, he looked in your eyes for a long moment before kissing your forehead, and then pulling away. He lay back down on the pillows, and you turned off the light before getting under the covers again. Like the night before, he reached toward you in the darkness, and you moved over next to him. You tangled his arm in yours, again, with your hand on his shoulder, and he put his hand on your hip, again. He pretended to fall asleep, but his thumb kept rubbing your hip for a long while before you finally fell asleep.

You woke up the next morning with your hand entangled with Dean’s. As consciousness creeped up on you, you felt soft, warm lips on your knuckles. You moaned quietly, and the lips were gone. Your eyes fluttered open to see Dean’s dark green eyes roaming over your face. He gave you a small, sad smile.

“It’s time to go. Sammy’s all packed and ready. All we need is that lunch you promised.” Dean smirked and chuckled, and you tried to smile back. He pulled away, still holding your hand, and you sat up.

“Your stiches are healing well? No sign of infection?” Dean pulled his shirt up far enough that you could see the healing injuries, and although they still looked ugly, even you had to admit he was healing well. You pulled your lips into a smile and nodded. “Okay, then. Let me go pack you that lunch.” You squeezed his hand and stood up, and he followed suit, but stopped you from leaving the room.

“We don’t really need lunch, Y/N. I just didn’t want to go before thanking you for giving us a place to crash. Whether we wanted it or not.” Dean smirked and you smiled back at him. Dean’s smile faded, and he looked at you seriously. “Promise me again that you’ll stay away from any hunters, any monsters, anything…” His voice trailed off and he looked anywhere but at you. “Cas would kill me if you got hurt because of me.” You put your hand up to his face and made him look at you.

“I sincerely doubt Cas has given me a second thought since you two left here that night, but I promise anyway. As long as you promise not to be a stranger and stay safe.” Dean pulled your hand from his face, then holding both of your hands in his.

“Pfft. Nothing to worry about. This world ain’t getting’ rid of me just yet.” He squeezed your hands, then dropped them and pulled you into a hug. You tried not to notice how good he smelled, but you took a deep breath, anyway and sighed. When he finally let you go, you walked to the door with him, gave Sam a quick hug goodbye, and watched the brothers walk out your door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently Cas is God, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little interlude.

A few months later, your phone rang, and Dean’s name showed up on the screen. You answered quickly, your heart in your throat. Although you had texted back and forth a few times, you hadn’t spoken to him since they had left.

“Dean? What’s wrong?”

“Y/N. It’s good to hear you. Have you been watching the news?”

“Yeah.” You moved away from the bar and went back to your office for some privacy. “What’s this about a new God, Dean?” You heard Dean sigh through the line.

“Then you haven’t seen him, yet.” Dean paused and you heard rustling in the background. “It’s Cas.” You tried to match the reports of this new God with the nervous sincerity of the man you had known, and failed.

“Cas? Cas is the new God? What the hell happened, Dean?”

“That’s why I’m calling to check on you. I don’t know how to explain it, but Cas has done a lot of crap recently that I’m not sure can be forgiven, and that was before he decided he was the new God and starting taking out every shitty evangelist in the country.” Dean paused again. “Y/N, if you see him, don’t argue with him. You can’t reason with him, I’ve tried. Just go along with whatever he wants and call me ASAP. I don’t know that he’ll come near you, but he’s freaking everywhere, so I had to warn you.”

“No problem, Dean. If I see him, I’ll do whatever he wants, and call you.” You heard another rustling on the phone, and could picture Dean rubbing his hand over his face.

“Y/N, I think I’m gonna have to take him out, somehow. The body count is getting too high. Someone needs to stop him, and we’ve tried everything short of killing him. I’m not even sure he can be killed, anymore.” Dean cleared his throat, but not before you could hear the pain in his voice.

“I understand, Dean. You do what you have to do. Just keep me updated, will you?”

“Will do. Stay safe, Y/N.”

“You, too, Dean.”

Two days later, when the bar was packed and you were struggling to keep up with business even with your best employees working, you looked up and saw a glimpse of dark hair and a trench coat. You stood on your tip toes to try to see above the crowd, but the man you glimpsed was already going out the door. You texted Dean, anyway, just in case. Dean replied that he didn’t think it was Cas, since recent reports had him nowhere near you, but to stay safe, anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean grieves for Cas after the Leviathan kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadness, but the smut helps.

About a month later, Dean showed up one afternoon. He all but limped into The Oasis, and sat down on a stool so heavily, you thought it would break. Something about how he looked made your arms ache to hold him like you did once before. When you asked him how he was doing, he just gave you that tired smile and said he was doing all right. It was the smile that told you he was anything but all right. You pushed a beer towards him, and called in one of your employees to cover you for the night. In the time it took for her to arrive, Dean had already downed three beers and was waving for a fourth. You walked around the bar to his seat, made him give you a hug hello, and then led him up the stairs with his arm slung over your shoulders.

Once you had stripped him of his jacket and shoes and tossed his bag in the bedroom, you sat him down on the couch. As you went to sit next to him, he pulled you into his lap, instead, wrapped his arms around you and buried his head in your shoulder. You hugged him close and rubbed his back, stroking his hair and telling him everything would be okay. He shook his head subtly, and then you heard him speak, though it was quiet and choked.

“Cas is gone.” You paused as you took in his words, and then continued rocking him and shushing him. “No, Y/N. Cas is _gone_. We finally got him to do the right thing, and he tried, but they took him over and they killed him.” You felt your shirt get damp, and tears pricked your own eyes. You had long ago given up on the idea of Cas ever coming back for you, but you’d always hoped to see him again someday. You remembered dancing with him, and the words to one of the songs broke into your mind _. If you’d stay I’d subtract twenty years of my life/I’d fall down on my knees/kiss the ground that you walk on/If I could just hold you again._ Knowing that your sincere virgin was gone forever helped you close a door in your heart, but it still hurt. And the pain you felt coming off of Dean in waves completely broke your heart. As quiet tears rolled down your cheeks, you knew they were more for the hunter in your arms than the angel in your past.

Dean finally pulled away from you enough that you could see his face, and he told you the whole story. He told you every mistake Cas had made, from deals with the King of Hell to breaking Sam’s wall. He told you how Cas finally realized he couldn’t keep going and agreed to let it all go, but the monsters hung on inside him and took him over. Dean told you about Cas walking into the water and disappearing, with only his trench coat rising to the surface. With that final picture, Dean buried his head in your shoulder again, and you both pretended there weren’t tears streaming down your faces.

After a long silence, he pulled away again and told you how Sam was struggling. He told you how Sam had let a monster go, and hid his face from you when he admitted to killing the girl and lying to Sam about it. He defended his stance, and you stayed quiet, not knowing if anything you said would make a difference. After a long moment, he tentatively looked into your face.

“You’re not throwing me out, so I guess that’s a good thing.” You leaned back a moment and looked at him in confusion.

“Dean, why would I throw you out?” He looked at you in fear and confusion.

“I couldn't save Cas, I couldn't stop Cas from hurting Sam, I stood by and watched the very monsters God Himself decided were too dangerous for the world just go free, I can’t help Sam, hell, I betrayed Sam’s trust…At best, I’m a screw up of epic proportions. At worst, I’m a traitor and a murderer.” He abruptly pushed you off of his lap onto the sofa and stood up. “I’ll just grab my bag and go. I shouldn't have even come here.” As Dean went into the bedroom to grab his bag, you made your stand at the door. As he came into the hallway and saw you in his way, he stopped, pain all over his face and tears in his eyes.

“Dean Winchester, did I tell you to leave?” Dean’s eyes widened slightly, but he shook his head. “Did I call you a screw up or a traitor, or a murderer?” Dean closed his eyes for a second, shook his head, and then let his head hang down. You took his head in your hands and made him look you in the eye. “Did you do the best you could based on the information you had at the time?” He began to pull himself from your grasp and shake his head, but you held him firmly. “I’ll give you one point, you handled the thing with Sam and his friend poorly, but you can always make amends. As for everything else, stop beating yourself up.” He started to fight against your hands again, so you did the one thing you could think of to stop him. You kissed him.

Your kiss took him so much by surprise that he completely froze. When you pulled your lips away from his, he stared at you in disbelief.

“Dean, you are one of the strongest, bravest, and best men I know. Nothing you have told me tonight makes me think any less of you. So stop putting those awful words in my mouth.” You let one hand drop to his shoulder and caressed his face with the other. His eyes closed, and he leaned into your hand. He dropped his bag and took you in his arms, burying his head in your neck. After a moment, he pulled his head away and searched your eyes. You didn't know what he was looking for, so you just kept stroking his hair and caressing his face.

Before you knew what was happening, one of his hands was at the base of your neck, pulling your lips to his. This kiss was definitely different than the last, with his lips moving against yours and his tongue searching your mouth. Your body started responding, letting go of all of the restraints you had put on it for so long. Until now, every time you had touched him you had refused to allow yourself to notice how it left you tingling. You had forced yourself to believe that sharing a bed had been no big deal because he was your friend, and only your friend. The possibility that you might want more had not been entertained. Until now. Suddenly, his hands were leaving streaks of heat in their wake everywhere they touched you. For the first time, you felt the press of his solid body against yours and allowed yourself to admit that you wanted to feel more. Finally, you admitted that the way he smelled made your eyes water with want. As you ran your fingers through his short hair, lightly scratching his scalp with your nails, you accepted that you wouldn't be happy just being platonic friends, anymore.

When you moaned into his mouth, Dean finally came up for air, moving his lips down your jaw to your neck. He left a trail of kisses until he found that one spot that made you whimper, and he worked it with his tongue and his lips until you dug your nails into his back. At the same time, his hands were under your shirt, roaming up your back and then down again, his fingers digging into your hips and pulling you closer to him. As his lips reclaimed yours, you began pushing him towards your bedroom and pushing his top shirt off of his shoulders at the same time. You both continued pulling at each other’s clothing and moving toward the bed, so that when you collapsed on the bed, he was only in his boxers and you were down to your bra and panties. His lips were between your breasts, making you arch your back, when his hands reached underneath you and unclasped your bra. He untangled it from your arms and tossed it over his shoulder, bringing his lips down to one nipple while kneading your other breast with his hand. His knee was pressed against your core, and you were almost rutting against it, feeling the buildup of all of the sensations Dean was creating with his hands and his mouth. You felt the bulge in his boxers, already damp like your own panties, pressing against your hip, and the thought that Dean was just as far gone as you were almost put you over the edge. You reached between you, slid your hand into his boxers, wrapped your fingers around him and gave him a tentative stroke, smearing the liquid from his tip down his shaft. His hips jerked, making his knee move harder against your core, and you both groaned. You whined his name, and his hand moved down into your panties. When he felt how wet you were, he moaned your name, and pushed two fingers inside of you as his lips found yours again. His tongue and fingers moved in sync, and it wasn't long before you were crying out his name as your orgasm washed over you.

By the time you had come down from your high, Dean had removed both his boxers and your panties, and was lying between your thighs, kissing and licking every inch of skin he could reach. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and when he shifted his hips his cock pressed hard against your clit, making you moan his name again. Dean paused for half a second from his teasing and growled in your ear.

“Condom?” You moved your hips against his, trying to get more friction, and moaned.

“Pill. I’m clean. You clean?”

“I’m clean.” Dean moaned, slowly pushed himself inside you, and then groaned, letting his head fall to your neck, where he found that special spot again. You whimpered his name, and moved your hands down his back to knead his ass with your fingers, which spurred him into moving. Slowly, he started moving inside you, setting a slow pace that frustrated you until you begged him to go faster. As he picked up speed, he muttered about how good you felt and how he loved hearing your moans. You rewarded him by moving your hips against him, urging him on, and digging your nails into whatever part of him you could reach. You felt yourself getting near the edge again, and when you told Dean, he moved one hand between you and started rubbing circles around your clit. Immediately, you exploded, your walls clamping down on him, making him follow you a moment later.

While you both came down, he kept moving, kept kissing you, kept touching you, and finally pulled away and lay down next to you. He immediately moved you against him, yanked the covers over both of you, and then just rubbed your back while you traced patterns on his chest.

Suddenly, with a curse, he pushed you away and sat up, facing away from you and putting his head in his hands. Confused, you sat up after him a reached for him, but he pushed your hands away.

“I am such a jackass.” You sat on the bed next to him, trying to see his face, but he kept hiding it from you.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” He shook his head and refused to look at you.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have done that. I had no right to take advantage of you when you’re hurting, too.” You looked at Dean in dismay and confusion. He sighed and gave you a sad look. “Cas. You’re Cas’s girl. And the first thing I do after he’s gone is make a move on you. I mean, I’ve done some despicable stuff in the name of sex, but this is seriously low.”

“Dean, what are you talking about? In what way am I Cas’s girl, anymore? As far as I’m concerned, Cas and I had a one night stand a lifetime ago, and I have moved on. Several times, in fact.” Dean finally pulled his head from his hands and looked at you nervously. You smiled at him, and started rubbing his arm with your hand. A ghost of a smile crossed his face and he raised his eyebrows.

“Several times? What does that mean?” Dean smirked a little, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. You chuckled and made a face at him, then pulled him back into the bed and straddled his lap. You stroked his hair and tried to smooth the furrow in his brow while you spoke.

“That means, I’ve had a couple of boyfriends since Cas. Nothing too serious, just fun, really, but my life didn’t end when Cas left me that stupid note.” Dean looked confused.

“But you always asked about him. And you always looked so sad when you did.” You smiled a little and tried to blow it off. Your hands dropped to your lap, and you fixed your eyes on your hands while you fidgeted with them.

“Hey, it’s not exactly my finest moment. He has his first time with me, and it’s obviously so underwhelming that he leaves before I wake up and never tries to contact me again. It’s a little humiliating, you know?” You looked up at Dean and tried to read his face, but you couldn’t. “So, yeah, I’d ask about him, looking for some excuse why this great guy that I really liked would so totally blow me off. And, dammit, I do care about him as a person. I’ll always,” you paused and dropped your gaze for a moment, then continued, “I _would have_ always wanted to know that he was okay. So, yeah, I’m sad he’s gone, but I’m sadder that you lost your friend.” You cupped his face with your hands and kissed him gently. His arms wound around you, and when he pulled away from your lips, he crushed you to his chest, burying his nose in your hair.

“Well, all I can say, is that if he thought sex with you was ‘underwhelming,’ as you put it, then he was crazier than I thought.” His hands started moving up and down your back again, pulling your hair away from your neck so he could find that special spot again that made you crazy. You moaned as he worked it, biting his shoulder and digging your nails into his back. When he finally moved his mouth away from your neck, you put your mouth on his neck, licking and sucking your way up to his ear. As you teased his earlobe, causing him to press his fingers into your hips, you whispered into his ear.

“And I haven’t even shown you any of my special skills, yet…” You sucked on his earlobe while you moved a hand down between you and started stroking his already half-hard length. Dean groaned, and his hands found your breasts and started kneading. As you pushed him back on the bed and started licking and kissing down his chest, paying special attention to his nipples, Dean shook his head and sighed.

“Oh, man, he was a great guy, but Cas was an…” Dean’s thought was interrupted when your mouth reached his cock and you swirled your tongue around the tip.

Dean only stayed until the next day, but the two of you spent the time mostly in bed. You did surface before the bar closed to grab some food from the kitchen and help close up. You marveled again at how Dean seemed to enjoy wiping down tables and cleaning floors while you closed out the register and finished the paperwork. As soon as the bar was locked down for the night, the two of you were back in bed, touching and kissing and caressing each other. Before he left, Dean looked at you guiltily.

“Y/N, I can’t promise you anything.” You interrupted him before he could say anything else.

“Dean, I don’t want you to. You are always welcome here, no matter what, so come when you need to, and text or call me when you can.” You kissed him gently, and then looked into his eyes. “Just stay safe.”

“You, too.” Dean pulled you into his arms for a long, slow kiss, and then abruptly left.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Leviathan keep Dean away, but he does his best to stay in touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little angsty interlude.

Two weeks later, there was a call for you at the bar from a pay phone.

“Y/N? It’s Dean. I don’t have time to explain, but you’re gonna see me and Sammy on the news, but it’s not us. This new monster is seriously tech savvy, so I’m going to mail you a new phone every so often so I can call you. I’ll set up an anonymous email account so you can contact me if you need to, but we’re changing phones like once a week.” You heard Sam say something urgently in the background. “I gotta go. You’re okay, right?”

“I’m good, Dean. Stay safe.”

“You, too, Y/N.”

True to his word, Dean sent you new phones every few weeks. He would text every so often, but each text was maybe a line or two.

“Psychics are weird. Especially the dead ones. Stay safe.”

“S got married. Not really. Well, sort of. But not really. Learned what a waffle iron looks like. Stay safe.”

“Don’t eat at Biggerson’s. Seriously. Stay safe.”

“B died. Wish I could visit you, but it’s not safe. Can’t even call. Just stay safe.”

“Went to 1944 & met Eliot Ness. Seriously. Awesome clothes. Stay safe.”

“S got attacked by killer clowns. Not joking. Wish I’d had a camera. Stay safe.”

“Why would someone curse ballet shoes? S is getting worse. I’ll try to call soon. Stay safe.”

“Glad we got to talk. S is in hospital. Heading to pick up a healer. Fingers crossed. Stay safe.”

The next time you heard from Dean, it was a phone call from a pay phone. He told you that Cas was alive, and how Cas took Sam’s madness into himself. You wanted to visit Cas, but Dean told you no. It was too dangerous for you. Cas was safe and you had to stay safe, too. More texts followed.

“The problem with Biggerson’s has spread. Can’t even eat pie. Don’t eat anything processed. Rabbit food will kill me if the monsters don’t get me, first. Stay safe.”

“C awake but communing with bees. Seriously. Naked, on my car, covered with bees. Scrubbing my eyeballs with bleach. Stay safe.”

The next phone that came in the mail had an unsent message on it. _Big play to beat the big bad happening soon. Hope it’s over soon so I can visit. Can’t wait to eat a bacon cheeseburger, a slice of pie, and you. ;) Delete this message and text me when you get this, but nothing personal. I think they’re tracking texts, even though we keep switching phones. Stay safe._ You texted back, _Me, too. Stay safe._

The quiet that followed over the next couple of weeks was nerve wracking. Every time the phone rang, you jumped. Every time the door opened, your eyes flew to see who was there. You barely slept, just in case Dean came in the night to surprise you. You told yourself that you were getting far too invested in Dean Winchester for your own good. He told you himself that he couldn’t promise you anything. He had settled down once and failed miserably at it. The most you could ever be was a port in the storm for him. An oasis of normalcy in his otherwise crazy life. And you probably weren’t his only port. You pictured him with other women, let the jealousy stab you in the heart until tears pricked your eyes, but you didn’t care. Even if he told you he had a hundred other girls, you’d still want him in your life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tells Reader that Dean is dead and they grieve together until Reader's smothering drives Sam nuts. Reader tries to move on, but gets a surprise visit from a not-dead Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has it all: Some grief, some angst, some fluff, and some smut.

Two days after the news broke the story of the Fall of Dick Roman and all of his enterprises, Sam stumbled in to The Oasis, looking like the walking dead. Your breath caught in your throat, and the minute Sam looked in your eyes, you felt the tears start to fall down your cheeks. You didn’t have to tell anyone to cover for you as you led Sam upstairs, they just did.

As he sat next to you and told you the whole story, how both Dean and Cas were gone, tears streamed down both of your faces. Suddenly, he was wrapped around you, curled into himself so he could bury his face in your neck while he quietly sobbed. After a moment, you climbed into his lap and held him as you had once held Dean, stroking his hair and rubbing his back.

Sam stayed with you for a week, helping out at the bar during the day, but clinging to you at night. You mothered him a bit, using the excuse that he needed the care to cover for your need to do something to distract yourself from your grief. When you insisted he eat when he insisted he wasn’t hungry, he snapped at you and said that he wasn’t a baby bird that needed a mama bird to feed him. He saw the look on your face and immediately apologized, hugging you close while you cried for a change. The first night, his nightmares woke you up from the next room, so every night after that, you had him sleep in the bed with you. He still had nightmares, but you could shush him back to sleep before he truly woke up. After a couple of days, it became natural for him to wrap himself up in you before going to sleep. The morning you woke up hearing him moan your name in his sleep was the morning he left. You heard him, and slipped out of bed before he woke up. Over breakfast, he told you he was leaving, his cheeks flushed. You pretended not to notice, and never told him what you’d heard, but you were glad he’d made the decision he did. You’d come to think of him as a little brother, since your heart was firmly tied to Dean. As he left, he hugged you, and sighed.

“You were Dean’s oasis in the craziness of our lives. I have to go find my own.” You told him he’d better keep in touch, and he did, texting with you and calling every so often. You were happy to hear about Amelia, and he was happy to hear when you told him you’d found someone, too. Jeff was a pale substitute for Dean, and Jeff knew it, but he was willing to stick it out in case your heart finally healed. Jeff saw how you watched the door sometimes, and turned around quickly when a man with a deep voice said your name, even though you knew it couldn’t be Dean. He saw the tears in your eyes when you realized it was a mirage, and he’d hold you on the rare occasions you couldn’t stop the tears. The night he pushed you to accept him as a part of your life, he held your head in his hands and made you look him in the eyes.

“Y/N, I know you loved Dean, and you probably always will. But he’s gone, and I’m here, and I’m willing to share your heart with his memory. I’m not asking you to stop loving him, I’m asking you to just love me a little, too.” You looked up at this kind man who understood and accepted everything, and wished you could feel for him what you had felt for Dean. You couldn’t, but you could care for him, so you agreed.

After a few months, Jeff had all but moved in with you, spending his evenings with you at The Oasis, helping out wherever help was needed. You weren’t ready to take the step of actually giving up half of your closet, though, so he still spent about half of his nights in his own place. You got into a comfortable routine, with him staying over when he didn’t have an early job the next day, but enjoying your alone time when he was away.

One busy Friday night, while Jeff was helping you at the bar, you heard a familiar voice say your name. You stopped still, then shook your head, trying to keep your mind from playing that same trick on you all over again. You refused to look up again and see another stranger’s face. You pretended you hadn’t heard, and convinced yourself it hadn’t been real, until you heard it again.

“Y/N.”

You braced yourself for the wave of pain that you knew was coming as you turned around to face the stranger that had Dean’s voice.

But it wasn’t a stranger.

You dropped the glass you were holding, letting it crash to the floor, as you saw Dean’s face smiling at you from the end of the bar. Tears began running down your face, and Dean’s smile faded, easing into concern. You felt Jeff’s hands on your shoulders, and saw the concern on Dean’s face change to sadness and then an indifferent smile as he took in Jeff’s ease with touching you. Jeff was asking you if you were all right, and all you could say in reply was, “Dean.”

You looked up at Jeff, and saw Jeff looking at Dean, and the recognition registered on his face, too. You had one picture of Dean, and he had seen you looking at it so many times, he knew what Dean looked like. When you saw Jeff react, too, that’s when you knew Dean was real. He wasn’t part of your imagination. You looked back at Dean, and then walked over to him slowly. When you were in front of him, you put your hands on his face, and then his shoulders and his chest, feeling to make sure he was real. Tears kept streaming down your face as your hands just continued touching him, until you looked up and saw his face again. You couldn’t read his expression, but you didn’t care. He was real. You slammed your body into his, wrapping your arms around his middle and pressing your face into his chest so hard he almost took a step back. His arms slowly wound around you until he was holding you as tightly as you were holding him.

When you both finally let each other go, you looked up at his face and tried to ask all of the questions that were running through your mind? How? When? Where had he been? Did Sam know? What had happened? He saw the questions crossing your face and just said, “I’ll explain everything upstairs.” He looked at Jeff, who was done sweeping up the glass you had broken, and had walked over to the two of you. Dean put out his hand, and Jeff shook it.

“Dean. Old friend of Y/N’s. It’s been a while. Sorry for, uh, causing a problem.” Jeff smiled sadly at you and Dean while he shook Dean’s hand.

“Jeff. Um, new friend of Y/N’s. I’ve heard a lot about you, Dean.” You saw Dean’s eyebrows shoot up as he glanced at you. “Y/N, why don’t you take Dean upstairs and catch up with him. I’ll handle things down here.” You stared at Jeff, a million emotions running through your mind. He took his head in your hands, wiping your tears from your face with his thumbs, and spoke so only you could hear. “Go. I understand. I’ll be fine. I’ll come upstairs after the rush is over and we can talk more.” He kissed your forehead and turned you around to face Dean, giving you a little push. You saw the confused look on Dean’s face as you took his hand and led him up the stairs.

As you entered your apartment, Dean hemmed and hawed a little.

“Your, ah, boyfriend, seems nice.” You turned to Dean and looked into his face. You saw his closed-off expression and indifferent smile. “Awfully nice of him to take over your shift so you can catch up with an old friend.” You turned away from him to head towards the couch.

“He’s used to sharing me with you.” As you both sat down, Dean stared into your face, uncomprehending. “Dean, what happened? Where have you been? Does Sam know you’re alive? What about Cas?” Dean set aside his questions and slowly answered your own. You held his hand while he told you that Cas didn’t make it. You sighed sadly at the thought of Cas being gone again, but you’d mourned once before, so you just held onto Dean while he talked. You were able to give him Sam’s new cell phone number, and you watched him call his brother. Dean even handed you the phone and you confirmed that he was really alive. Dean then made arrangements to see Sam and got off the phone. After he put away his phone, he looked at you for a long while.

“So, tell me about you. You’re still here. You’ve got Jeff. You look like you’re doing pretty well.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. You watched the sadness on his face and shoved down the desire to just kiss him.

“I told you, Dean, they’ll bury me here.” You tried to smile, but you sighed. “And yes, Jeff has been a… comfort... recently. I pushed him away for a long time.” Dean looked uncomfortable, but still spoke.

“He said he heard a lot about me. I didn’t think there was that much to tell. I mean, I’m little more than a one night stand, if you think about it.” Your eyes flew to Dean’s face just in time to see him replace the sadness with an indifferent smile. You couldn’t stop yourself this time, and you launched yourself at Dean, taking his head in your hands and crashing your lips to his. In his surprise, his mouth opened, and you took advantage and pushed your tongue against his. His arms flew up around you, and soon you were both moaning into each other. When you both finally paused to breathe, you rested your forehead against his.

“Dean, you are so much more than a one night stand to me.” You pulled away so he could look into your eyes. “When Sam told me you were dead, I thought I’d stop breathing. I only got through the first week because he was here and I knew he needed me. When Jeff first asked me out, I told him I’d lost someone and didn’t think I could let go. Jeff said he never expected me to. He knows about you because he was willing to listen when I talked about how much I missed you. He knows about every time I stared at your picture and wondered if you were in Heaven or Hell. He was there every time one of those songs I danced to with Cas came on the radio and reminded me of you. And he’s been there every time someone who looks or sounds like you has come into the bar and left me crying in the kitchen. So, yeah, he knows about you.” Dean looked at you sadly.

“You cried over me?” Dean cupped your face in his hands and studied you. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I never meant to hurt you.” You smiled and chuckled.

“You didn’t. Dick Roman did.” He huffed and smiled. “But it’s okay, because you took care of him, and now you’re here, and it’s all okay.” You kissed him gently, and then he held you tight to his chest, rubbing circles into your back.

You stayed like for a while, and then the two of you chatted. Dean told you about Purgatory, losing track of Cas, and ultimately losing Cas at the end. Soon, Jeff came upstairs, and you followed him into the bedroom as he grabbed the few things he had left there.

“Y/N, I was willing to share you with a ghost, but he’s real, and he’s here, so I’m getting out of your way.” You couldn’t argue, so you thanked him, helped him pack, and gave him a hug on his way out the door. He held you close for a long moment, then kissed your forehead and whispered, “Call me if anything changes.” You looked at him sadly, but nodded.

When you sat back down on the couch and snuggled into Dean’s side, it took him a moment to relax and wrap his arm around you. After a long minute, he finally spoke.

“Are you sure you want to be cuddled up on the couch with me when Jeff gets back?” You looked up at him for a moment and then started tracing random patterns on his chest.

“Jeff’s not coming back. He only came up here to grab the few things he had left here.” Dean pushed you away from him so he could see your face.

“He left you? Just like that? Why?” He looked absolutely horrified and you wouldn’t have been surprised if he had shaken you to get the answers he wanted.

“Because you’re back. I told you, he’s known from the first day he met me that I was hung up on you, and as long as you were dead, he could accept it. But you’re not dead, Dean. So, he left.” Dean pushed you fully away from him and put his head in his hands.

“No, no, no, no, no. You did not just lose a great guy because of me. Why did I even come here? I should have just let you keep thinking I was dead.” You grabbed Dean’s shoulder angrily and pushed up until he was facing you.

“What? Are you honestly saying that you think I was better off with a guy I don’t love and grieving for you, than I am here, with you?” Dean looked you square in the eye as he spoke.

“Yes.”

“Well, then, Dean Winchester, you are a bigger idiot than I thought.”

“Y/N, nothing has changed for me. Except now I’m a year older and I’m even more broken than I was before. I can’t give you a life or security. Hell, I can’t give you anything. I can’t promise I won’t disappear again, or worse. You are not better off with me in any way, shape, or form.” Dean glared at you angrily.

“Dean, I have no illusions about you. I decided long ago that no matter what, I’d rather have you in my life than not.” You crawled into his lap, straddling his legs, and started playing with his hair while you talked. “I’m reasonably sure you’re not celibate when you’re not here, and I’m okay with that.” His eyes widened in disbelief and he blinked slowly. “I know enough about your life to know that you could disappear again, or worse.” His eyes closed and he dropped his head down. “I don’t care.” His head snapped up and his eyes flew to your face in shock. “You’re worth it, Dean.” Dean tried to shake his head, but you kept talking. “And if another guy comes along who is okay with sharing me with you, then, if it’s okay with you, maybe I’ll consider him.” Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Jeff wasn’t that guy. He could share me with a ghost, but not with someone real.” You took his head in your hands and kissed him gently. “Unless you have a problem with any of that…?” Dean’s arms snaked around your waist and he closed his eyes for a moment before he spoke.

“So, you’re telling me that you’re okay with me finding stress relief with the occasional waitress, and you’re asking me if I’m okay with you doing the same. That’s kind of a double standard, Y/N.” Dean smirked, and you tried to kiss his smirk away. “I have to admit, there haven’t been too many waitresses since I saw you last.” You smiled against his mouth and chuckled.

“Losing your touch?” Dean put a hand into hair and started kissing down your throat.

“Just wasn’t sure how I felt about being with someone else when I’d rather be with you.” Dean finally reached the spot on your neck that he remembered drove you wild and started licking and gently sucking and kissing it until you were breathless and moaning. You started moving your hips against his, feeling the bulge in his pants press against the junction of your thighs. Dean brought one hand from your back to one of your breasts, and started kneading you through your clothes. Your back arched, your hips were grinding against Dean, and the noises coming out of your mouth were foreign to you.

“Oh, God, Dean…if you keep that up I’m gonna come before you get any of my clothes off.” Dean chuckled almost sinisterly, then moved his hand from your breast down to the button of your jeans.

“Oh, really? Heh. Challenge accepted.” He popped the button your jeans, and worked the zipper down, then slid his hand into your panties, finding you soaked and causing a groan to leave your mouth as his fingers gently caressed you.  ”God, Y/N, I missed how you respond to me. You’re not lying about being almost there, are you?” His fingers started rubbing circles around your clit while his other hand pushed at the fabric of your shirt so he could move his mouth down to your breast. As his fingers started moving against you, you cried out his name, pulling a groan from him. He pushed two fingers inside of you and started thrusting them in and out, while teasing your clit with his thumb. You tugged on his hair, pulling his mouth back up to yours. You were moaning continuously, now, your tongue dancing with his, and you sucked on his lip. He started thrusting his tongue into your mouth in sync with his fingers, and you felt your orgasm rip through you like a train on fire. He worked his fingers slowly while you came down, giving you a cocky smile when you could finally focus your eyes again. He pulled his hand out of your pants and licked his fingers, smirking the whole time. “Damn, Y/N, that was freaking hot.” You collapsed into his chest, your head resting on his shoulder, still panting.

“What can I say? I missed you, Dean.” You moved your mouth to his neck and started kissing and licking and sucking a trail down to his collarbone. Dean moaned, grabbed your ass with both hands, and stood up. You locked your legs around his waist and he walked you to the bedroom. When he put you down, standing next to the bed, the two of you stripped off your clothes like it was a race. Dean crawled into bed right after you, laying you out underneath him and worshipping every inch of your skin. When you tried to take him in your hand, he pushed your hand away and groaned.

“If I let you do that, we’ll be done a lot quicker than I want to be.” Dean moved in between your legs and you felt him line himself up. “Still on the pill?” He took your nipple in his mouth again and teased it with his tongue.

“Oh, god, yes, Dean!” You felt Dean chuckle, and the vibration went straight from his mouth through your beast to your groin.

“Was that a yes to my question, or did I just find a new sweet spot?” Dean moved to your other nipple and repeated the action. You arched your chest into him, whining now for more.

“Both, Dean, holy…please....” Dean rubbed his cock against your folds, hitting your clit just right until you were crying out continuously. When your fingernails dug into his back, he finally shifted and pushed into you. You cried out his name, your hips bucking up to meet his. He quickly set a pace that hit all the right spots in you, fingering your clit at the same time, and you came apart around him almost violently. He followed soon after, your aftershocks pulling it out of him. You both collapsed on the bed, panting hard, and he pulled you close to him, leaving little kisses on your face and neck and shoulder. You looked at Dean, eyes wide in amazement.

“If that’s what being away for over a year does, maybe I don’t want to see you so often.” You winked at Dean and chuckled. He took your mouth with his and brushed your hair out of your face. When he pulled away, he smiled and looked in your eyes.

“I missed you and this so much.” His hand kept moving over your skin, over your hip, up your back, down your arm, and back to your hip, just to start roaming all over again. He dipped his head into your neck and made a trail of little kisses down to your shoulder. You put a hand on his head and stroked his hair until he brought his face back up to you.

“I did, too.” You kissed him gently, but soon the kiss grew needy, and his hands were touching and kneading and teasing again. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a big favor to ask. Reader gets a roommate. Cas doesn't like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love Benny's accent! And more Dean smut.

The next time you saw Dean, it was about six months later, and he visited to ask you a favor. He had kept in touch with lots of phone calls and texts, letting you know when Cas reappeared, and talking with you about his issues with Sam. Now that he didn’t have to worry about anyone tracking his texts and phone calls, you heard from him often, and he liked sending you texts that made you blush. If he happened to still be awake when he knew you were done closing up the bar, he’d call you just to ask what you were wearing and tell you everything he wanted to do with you the next time he saw you. The phone call you got before his visit was different, though. He was serious.

“Y//N, I got a friend who’s kind of lost right now. I told him to meet me at your place, and I expect he’ll get there before I do by a day or so. His name’s Benny. It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you everything when I get there.”

“Should I open out the couch for him? I finally broke down and invested in a sofa bed so Sam doesn’t have to fold himself up on my tiny couch when the two of you visit.” You mentally started preparing for a houseguest, thinking of food to buy and laundry to get done so you’d have bedding ready.

“No! Um, no, Y/N. That’s sweet of you to offer, but he’s got an old RV that he prefers to stay in. Just let him know he’s in the right place if he does get there before I do. Thanks for this. Now, I gotta go if I’m going to get to you anytime soon, and I most definitely want to get to you as soon as possible.” His voice lowered to a growly whisper that sent sparks shooting to your groin. “It has been so _hard_ missing you and that ass of yours, Y/N.” You groaned and chuckled.

“Dean, I am pouring a beer for a customer right now, so that wasn’t fair. Just get that perky ass of yours over here. And stay safe.” You thought you could hear Dean smile through the phone.

“You too.”

The next day, the mysterious Benny showed up at The Oasis. You liked him even before you knew who he was. He was a big guy, with huge hands and a quiet smile. His clothing seemed a bit old-fashioned, but it suited him perfectly. You pegged him as a Louisiana boy as soon as he opened his mouth.

“Just a beer, please, darlin’.” You pushed the glass towards him and he smiled.

“Louisiana boy, am I right?” He smiled that gentle smile as he sipped his beer.

“That’s right! How’d you know?” You debated telling him, since it was a pretty personal story, but you got a good feeling from him, so you opened up.

“When I was too young to be tending bar, but old enough to think I knew everything, my dad hired a boy from ‘N’awlins,’ as he called it. He taught me more French than just talking, if you know what I mean.” You winked at him, and he chuckled. “I spent a lot of hours listening to him talk before my dad realized we were doing more than talking and kicked him to the curb.” You smiled at the memory. “I always wanted to go down there someday and see the French Quarter and the riverboats and eat gumbo and jambalaya.” Just then another customer waved for a drink, so you had to take care of them and come back. You and the stranger talked a bit about Mardi Gras, and he told you about the Garden District and his home town of Carencro. “So, tell me, what brings you to our backwards neck of the woods?”

“I’m meeting a friend here. Said he’d be here in a day or so, and I should hang out until he gets here.” You gave him a big smile and stuck your hand out to shake his.

“Then you must be Benny! I’m Y/N. Dean told me you’d be coming. Didn’t tell me anything else, or I’d have known you by your accent.” Benny shook your hand and smiled. The two of you chatted when you weren’t busy with other customers, and by the time Dean finally got there two days later, you were already good friends. Dean walked in the door in the afternoon before happy hour, and when you saw him, your face broke into the widest smile. He sauntered around the bar, and pulled you into his arms for a long kiss right there in front of the three customers you had along with Benny. You heard Benny chuckle behind you as Dean’s tongue danced with yours. When he finally let you go, you held onto him for an extra moment until you got your bearings and could stand on your own again. He walked around the bar, greeted Benny warmly with a hug, and sat down next to him. Dean and Benny talked for a few minutes while you handled some new customers, and when you got back to them, Dean asked if you could take some time away from the bar. Benny offered to cover you, which he had done a couple of times before without a problem, so Dean grabbed his bag and you headed upstairs.

As you climbed the stairs in front of Dean, you heard his bag shift, and suddenly his hands were on your hips, slowing you down. You stopped about halfway up the stairs, wondering what Dean was doing. His hands lifted up your shirt just a little in the back, and you suddenly felt his lips on your spine just above your jeans. He squeezed your hips with his hands as his lips kissed up your spine, his nose pushing your shirt up higher. When he reached your bra, he moved his hands up to unclasp it, and then slid his hands underneath it and around to your breasts. He cupped your breasts for a moment while his lips traveled to the back of your neck. You grabbed onto the railing so you wouldn’t fall and a ragged moan escaped from your mouth. His hands started moving on your breasts, kneading them, then teasing both of your nipples while his mouth was sucking on your neck. He was now on the same step as you, one of his feet planted between both of yours, and he pressed his hips into your ass so you could feel the hard bulge in his pants. Your head fell back onto his shoulder with a groan and your knees got weak.

“Dean, can we at least get to the top of the stairs before you make me come?” Dean captured your mouth with his and one of his hands slid down your stomach and into your jeans. When his fingers encountered your already soaked panties he groaned into your mouth. He forced himself to put his hands back on your hips, and growled, “Go.” Gripping the railing tightly, you managed to climb the rest of the stairs, and with much trouble, you unlocked your door. Once you were both inside, Dean dropped his bag, turned you around so you were facing him, and slammed you against the closed door. Your arms wrapped around his neck, and his hands went straight to your ass, squeezing it and then lifting your legs until they were wrapped around his waist. He rocked his hips against you, and you cried out because his jean-clad arousal was pressing hard against your jean-clad clit, causing a fantastic friction. His tongue was invading your mouth while you tried to gasp and moan, one hand was holding you up, and the other was pinching and rolling your nipple. He rocked his hips again, and you saw stars, moaning Dean’s name and whining for more. You were glad for the sturdy construction of the door when he started rocking against you with a forceful rhythm, growling in your ear about how much he wanted you and what he wanted to do to you. You surprised yourself when your orgasm hit, almost screaming Dean’s name though you didn’t know how you could have the breath to even speak. When he sensed you were coming down, he slowed his motions, still holding you against the door.

“How do you do that to me, Dean?” Dean was sucking on your neck, now, finding that spot that he knew drove you wild. He made a questioning noise without pulling his lips away from your skin. “Every damn time…make me come like a freaking freight train before you’ve even got me naked.” You felt Dean’s smirk against your skin as he pulled you away from the door and carried you to the bedroom. As he dropped you to your feet, he chuckled against your lips, and then finally answered while you both shed layers.

“I’m Batman.” You laughed and kissed him while he kicked off his boots and pushed down his pants and boxers. Before long, you both were naked on the bed, and he was pushing inside of you, groaning at how good you felt. When he finally started moving, he frustrated you with a slow pace, so you bucked your hips up against him until he matched your rhythm. It didn’t take long for you feel your second orgasm starting, and when he growled in your ear to let go so he could watch you come again, you did. He followed soon after, and you both lay panting and smiling for a long while until your hearts stopped racing.

After you had been laying there in his arms for a while, you felt him tense up. You looked up at him questioningly, and he sat up next you, pulling the sheet up to cover you both.

“I have to talk to you about Benny.” He looked so serious you almost laughed.

“Benny’s a great guy. He’s been here a couple of days, and we’ve had a lot of time to chat.” Dean nodded, but didn’t seem reassured.

“I figured you two were already friendly when you let him watch the bar already.” He smiled down at you, but got serious again quickly. “There’s something you don’t know about Benny, but I think you need to know.” You furrowed your brow and waited for him to continue. “I met Benny when I was in Purgatory.” He looked at you long and hard, and you tried to make the connection Dean was obviously trying to show you.

“Purgatory. You said that’s where monsters….” Your voice trailed off, as you finally put things together. “Benny’s a monster?” You pulled away from Dean, covering yourself with the sheet. You tried to make the southern gentleman currently running your bar jibe with the image in your mind of a monster and just couldn’t do it. Dean sighed.

“He’s a vampire. He found me in Purgatory, helped me find Cas when Cas didn’t want to be found, and showed me the portal that I needed to use to get out. In exchange, I helped him escape, too. He hitched a ride, so to speak.” You tried to soak in everything Dean was telling you, and apply it to Benny in your mind.

“But, he’s been drinking my beer for days? I don’t understand.” Dean was watching you closely while you thought through everything he was telling you.

“They can drink, and maybe even eat, I’m not sure, things other than blood. They just need blood to survive. Benny doesn’t feed on people, anymore. If he did, he knows I’d take him out. He steals from blood banks, mostly.” You nodded, still taking in everything.

“You said you needed to ask a favor, but you said he doesn’t need a place to stay. I don’t understand what I can do for him.” Dean sighed and tried to find the words to explain. He finally spilled Benny’s whole story, from his old nest and the woman he fell in love with, to his great-granddaughter and the crazy hunter who ruined it because of Sam. Now, Benny was left without a support system. Dean couldn’t run with him because of Sam, and no vampires would go near him because of his no-kill policy. Sam didn’t even know that Benny would be here with you, just that Dean needed a couple of days off to visit with you while he worked on things with Amelia.

“I guess what I’m asking is for you to be his friend. I know he’s a monster, and I’m worried that this is going to suck you into the very thing I don’t want you sucked into, but I also know that if anything came around, he’d protect you.” He moved closer to you, put his hand on your face, and then kissed you gently. “If you don’t want him around, I’ll understand, and he’s gone.” You looked up at Dean for a long moment.

“You trust him?” Dean nodded.

“He’s been more of a brother to me, lately, than Sam has.” Dean frowned and you frowned, too. “Benny has never let me down.”

“Okay, then. He can stay. Whatever he needs, I’ll try to help.” Dean smiled and gave you a long, slow kiss. When he finally pulled away you smiled.

“We should go rescue Benny. He’s never covered for me for this long, or during happy hour!” You both got dressed again and headed back downstairs. When Benny saw you coming to relieve him, you saw the worried look on his face. You smiled at him and patted his back when you thanked him for covering for you and told him he could relax. He heaved a quiet sigh of relief and gave you a huge grin as he returned to his seat on the other side of the bar. Dean joined him, and they chatted happily until closing, with you joining in when business slowed down.

After closing, you had a long talk with Benny, asking him every question you could think of about vampires. You offered him a job helping you out with the bar, doing anything and everything that needed to be done. In exchange, he could park his camper in the alley behind the bar. When you got a look at it, though, you swore he wouldn’t spend a single night, or day, in it if you had anything to say about it. The thing looked like it was about to fall apart any second, and didn’t seem to have any creature comforts. Benny tried to explain to you that he didn’t need heat or other usual creature comforts, but you wouldn’t listen. By the end of the night, arrangements were settled, and Benny was officially your roommate, sleeping on your new sofa bed.

Dean stayed for a couple of days, until he was satisfied that you and Benny were going to be okay together. You cherished waking up with him in the morning, and tried not to think about him leaving when you were snuggled close to his side. When you weren’t in the bar with Benny teaching him the ropes, you were in bed with Dean, memorizing the feel of his muscles as they flexed under his skin.

The third morning Dean was there, you were sitting with Dean and Benny at the breakfast table. You and Dean were devouring one of Dean’s fabulous breakfast feasts, and Benny was sipping from a blood bag. You were watching Benny, just getting yourself accustomed to what you knew would be a common sight, when Dean’s phone rang. He answered quickly, didn’t say much, then said your name and hung up. You were about to ask him what was going on when you heard a flutter of wings and felt a cool breeze. You saw the trench coat before you could begin to form the question, and your breath stalled. Your eyes focused on the tie, then rose up to the face, while your mouth hung open wordlessly. Cas spent a moment looking at you, then noticed Benny and Dean, and his face hardened. He turned to Dean before speaking.

“Dean?” He was standing behind Benny, so Benny didn’t see, but you saw the exchange. Cas looked pointedly at Benny, then glanced at you, and finally glared at Dean. “Here?” Dean’s face hardened as he glanced at you and then looked back at Cas.

“Yes, Cas, here. Now, what do you need?” You couldn’t take your eyes off of Cas’s face as he looked at you and Benny again, then obviously pushed away his objections.

“An angel is in trouble and I need help rescuing him.” Cas looked at Dean’s attire, pajama pants and a t-shirt. “How soon can you be ready to go?” Dean sighed.

“Give me five to get dressed and packed.” He jumped up, and after a moment, so did you. You followed Dean into the bedroom to help him gather his things. When he was dressed and packed, he searched your face for a long moment before he gave you a long, slow kiss and held you close. “Sorry to eat and run. Stay safe, okay?” You looked up at him and smiled.

“I’ve got Benny on my side, now. No worries here. You stay safe, Dean.” You kissed him quickly before he left the room with you following closely behind. As soon as Dean emerged, Cas gave you a swift glance, then touched Dean’s forehead and they were gone. You sighed as you sat back down to finish your breakfast. Benny looked at you for a long moment before he spoke.

“I just got lectured by the crazy angel about keeping you safe, darlin’. Does Dean know about you and Cas?” You chuckled and smiled, feeling a flush come to your face at the thought that Cas was worried about you.

“I was Cas’s girl before I was Dean’s girl.” Benny’s eyes widened and he chuckled. “You could say Dean hooked us up. It was just a one night stand about four years ago, though. That was the first I’ve seen him or heard from him since.” You shook your head. “I honestly didn’t think he cared. Dean and I got together after he thought Cas died a couple of years ago. So, yeah. Dean knows.” You chuckled and gave Benny an appreciative smile. “You’re a good friend to Dean.” Benny smiled back at you.

“He’s a good friend to me.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life with Benny is good, until he gets a call from Dean and leaves. Dean and Sam visit and Dean breaks the news that Benny is dead. Dean gets to see Reader's relationship with Sam and gets jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter with a little bit of everything: Grief, jealousy, atrocious nicknames, and just a smattering of smut.

The few months that Benny was living with you were educational, but mostly unexciting. Benny became a favorite with your regulars, and helped bounce any unruly customers that caused a problem. You, in turn, learned more about vampires than you knew was possible. You got used to seeing bagged blood in your frig, and you learned to be careful not to startle Benny awake or you got an eyeful of his teeth. You could tell that Dean was nervous about the whole situation, because you got more phone calls and visits than usual. Dean would stop by for a night here or there, or sometimes just for an hour or two. There was one week where you worried that Benny was having problems getting the bagged blood he drank to survive, but he never said a word to you about it, and soon you saw more bags in your frig. You questioned him about it later, and asked him if there was anything you could do to help if he ever got desperate again. He gave you an appreciative smile before he responded.

“Darlin’, if you’re suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, it’s awfully nice of you to consider it, but I would never….” His voice trailed off for a moment and he sighed. “Besides, Dean would remove my head if the thought ever crossed my mind.” He smiled reassuringly. “I’m fine, darlin’. Don’t you worry about me.” You let the matter drop, and neither of you ever mentioned it again.

The day Benny left, he got a call from Dean and lit out like his ass was on fire without a word. You texted Dean, and he said he was all right, but he needed Benny’s help to get Sam out of a jam. You spent the next 24 hours worried and constantly checking your phone. Finally, you got a quick text from Dean.

“On our way to you. Be there tomorrow.”

You read the text over and over, wondering what it really meant. It didn’t say they were safe. It didn’t tell you to stay safe, which was a first. You knew Dean didn’t do love, but those two words, “stay safe,” had come to mean love to you all the same.

When Dean and Sam limped in to The Oasis the next day, you looked behind them for Benny, the way you had once looked behind them for Cas. Dean saw your look, and shook his head sadly. You called your kitchen help up to watch the bar and helped Dean get Sam up the stairs. Dean helped you get Sam into your bed, and then you helped Sam take off his jacket and shoes while Dean grabbed their bags from the car. As he lay down, you checked him over for injuries, and finding none, you questioned him.

“Not injured, just wiped. These trials really take it out of me, I guess.” You looked closely at his face, at his pale skin, his red eyes, and the uneven stubble on his chin. You were alarmed at just how sickly he looked. He had looked better when he thought Dean was dead. His eyes were closed, and his breathing was already evening out. You brushed a lock of hair out of his face and kissed his forehead, holding your lips there just long enough to feel the excessive warmth. He stirred at the feeling of your lips on his forehead, and smiled up at you as you backed away. “I’m okay, Mama Bird. No worries. I just need to rest.”

“Baby Bird, you have a fever. I will worry whether you like it or not.” You grabbed some aspirin from the night stand and gave them to him. You were about to get some water when he dry swallowed them and then took one of your hands in his.

“I’ll be fine. Now go cluck over Dean. He’ll enjoy it.” You both smiled, but Sam was too far gone to see yours. His eyes were at half-mast and closing fast, so you kissed his hand and put it down next to him before standing up. You turned toward the door and saw Dean standing there with an odd look on his face. You pushed him out the door and the two of you headed to the kitchen table to talk. Before you got there, though, your eyes fell on the sofa bed, which Benny hadn’t had a chance to make before he left. He had been almost meticulous about keeping things neat in your place, not wanting to make a mess you’d have to clean up or infringe on you in any way. He had even tried staying in his camper a couple of times early on, but you had nipped that in the bud quickly. You sat down on the sofa bed and fingered the blanket, tears beginning to stream down your face. He hadn’t left anything really personal behind, like pictures, but you looked over the few things he had spread out on the end table. You thought of how he’d run out without a word, not even to say goodbye, and a sob escaped your mouth. Your eyes moved over to Dean, and he looked at you helplessly.

“What happened, Dean? What the hell happened to kill Benny that you couldn’t fix?” Part of you knew you were being too harsh, but that part was not as loud as the part of you that was mourning your friend. Dean’s face crumpled and you immediately felt bad for what you had said. You rushed over to him and sat in his lap, apologizing over and over and over while you rained little kisses on his face and held him close to you. When you both quieted down, he started talking. He explained the trials that Sam was completing, and how Sam had gotten stuck in Purgatory. He told you he had sent Benny to Purgatory to lead Sam out, but Benny had stayed behind. Tears ran down your face slowly as he told you that Benny had said goodbye. Suddenly, Dean pushed you away and got up to grab a beer. You stood up and followed him so that when he turned back around you were right in front of him. You tried to touch him, but he flinched away. You put your hands on your hips and glared up at him.

“Dean, why won’t you touch me? What aren’t you telling me?” A mix of anger and sadness washed over his face.

“Y/N, I had to kill him to send him to Purgatory. He’s dead, now, and it’s my fault. You’re crying, and it’s my fault. Sam is sick, and it’s my fault. All of this is my fault, Y/N!” He was practically yelling, and you tried to shush him so he wouldn’t wake up Sam. He sat back down at the table with a thud and rubbed his hands over his face. You pulled his hand away from his face and turned him away from the table so you could sit in his lap again. Cupping his face in your hands, you kissed him gently, even though he didn’t respond. When you pulled away, his expression had melted some, but not completely.

“Dean, you did the best that you could, which is all anyone can ask. If Benny really wanted to come back, he’d have found a way. Yes, I’m sad my friend is gone. But I don’t blame you.” Dean wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your neck, squeezing you tightly. You stroked his hair and rubbed his back, slowly feeling some of the tension leaving his body. When his hold on you finally loosened, you gave him a gentle smile. “Now, what do you say we go downstairs, finish my shift, get cleaned up, and I take care of you tonight?” Dean smiled weakly at you as you gave him a quick kiss and got up. You looked around the living room, and sighed at the few signs that Benny had even been there. You spent a few minutes cleaning up the sofa bed, changing the sheets so Sam could use it, and putting the few belongings Benny had left, mostly clothes, away in a box. Dean helped you where he could, spending a few too many moments with Benny’s things.

After closing, you woke up Sam gently and guided him to the sofa bed. Once he was lying down again, you offered him food or water or anything else he wanted while checking his fever again. His forehead felt cooler to your lips, so you smiled when he responded.

“I told you, Mama, I’m fine. I don’t need food. You and your food. I’m just tired.” He turned over onto his side and you rubbed his shoulder as you spoke.

“All right, Baby, you win. But if you need anything….” Sam waved you off with an arm and you chuckled. You headed toward your bedroom, and saw Dean looking at you again with that odd look on his face. As you shut the door behind you and started to get ready for bed, Dean sat on the bed.

“Y/N, what is it with you and my brother?” You glanced at Dean, but he was staring intently at the hem of his shirt.

“What do you mean?” You continued getting undressed, changing into shorts and one of Dean’s old shirts.

“The whole Baby thing. And did he call you Mama?” You were smiling at the tone he used to ask the question, but when you saw his face, you outright laughed. He had a mixture of confusion and jealousy plastered in his expression. You decided to tease him a bit and see what happened.

“Why? You jealous?” You smiled and sat down next to him. His face turned pink and he went back to studying the hem of his shirt. After a long moment, his face got serious.

“I know Sam spent time here after I went to Purgatory and you thought I was dead. Did something happen between you two?” You could see the hurt in his eyes and immediately felt bad for teasing him.

“Dean, no. He stayed here about a week. He slept in my bed because he was having nightmares and it was easier for me to take care of him here than if he was on the sofa.” Dean’s face hardened. “And I smothered the living hell out of him because I needed something to do to distract me from you being gone. And the names, well, he yelled at me for constantly trying to feed him like a baby bird. After that, it just kind of stuck. He calls me Mama Bird when I annoy him.” At that, Dean’s face broke into a smile and he chuckled. He took you in his arms and kissed you tenderly.

“Thank God. I know we agreed to keep this open and all, but I have my limits, and sharing you with my brother is well beyond them.” He kissed you again, more deeply this time, and soon you were glad that Sam was very much asleep so you didn’t have to worry about muffling your moans. That night wasn’t about getting to the finish line, it was about comfort and losing yourselves in each other. Dean took his time, touching, caressing, and kneading the skin all over your body. As you sat in his lap, Dean buried deep inside of you, he held you tight to his chest and buried his face in your neck. As his lips worked your skin, you thought you heard him growl, “Mine.” You gripped his head and back tightly as you moaned quietly in his ear, “Yours, Dean.”

The brothers stayed with you for three nights, until Sam finally started looking almost human again. He still looked sick, but he wasn’t sleeping constantly and had started eating better. Now that he knew what was behind it, Dean would chuckle whenever he saw you doting on Sam. Before they left, while Dean was in the shower, Sam pulled you aside to talk to you about Benny.

“Y/N, Benny told me he was here with you the past few months. I know Dean didn’t want me to know, and it’s probably a good thing I didn’t, because I didn’t think much of Benny at the time.” Sam looked regretful for a moment before he continued. “Anyway, I wanted you to know, that Benny really appreciated everything you did for him. He told me to thank you for him and to tell you that he’s where he needs to be.” As tears started streaming down your face again, Sam pulled you to him and he held you while you cried quietly.

When it was time for them to go, you hugged both of them and Dean gave you a lingering kiss that you still felt on your lips long after they were gone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas shows up to protect Reader and they get a chance to talk. Oh, and Reader finds out about a certain book series.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut here, just a little fluff.

About a month later, you were busy with the post-happy hour crowd when you heard a familiar, gruff voice say your name. You turned around to see Cas standing at the end of the bar. Your breath caught in your throat and you froze for moment, which seemed to cause Cas some distress. His eyes narrowed, his brow furrowed, and he fidgeted where he stood. He gave you a pleading look and motioned for you to come to him. Your feet were like lead, but you eventually crossed the room. He roughly grabbed your elbow and pulled you closer to him before he spoke softly in your ear.

“Dean sent me. He thinks you might be in danger. You have two minutes to do whatever you need to do down here and then we’re going upstairs where I can better protect you.” Your eyes flew to his and you saw the sincerity and concern in his face. You nodded dumbly and did what he said, telling your other bartender to cover for you. As you walked back to Cas, you watched his eyes skim the crowd nervously before landing on you again. When you reached him, he grabbed your elbow again and quickly led you up the stairs. While you unlocked the door, he stood between you and the stairs, watching the stairs. Once your door was open, he pushed past you into your apartment, and quickly searched each room and closet. When he was satisfied, he motioned for you to sit down on the couch, and he sat down on the other end. You turned on the couch so you could face him, and your eyes roamed all over him. You wanted to ask him a million questions, but your mind was spinning like a top. You just kept looking at him, taking in his features, and marveling at how he hadn’t aged a day. He had a little more stubble, and he was less nervous around you, for sure, but otherwise he looked exactly the same, all the way down to his tie. After a moment of you gawking at him, Cas cleared his throat.

“I’m sure you’ll hear from Dean soon, but he asked me to come here in the meantime. I don’t know how much you know about what’s going on, but Dean feels there’s a slight chance you might be in danger. Someone is going after people the Winchesters have saved. Although you don’t fall into that category, you are close to them, so there’s a risk. They have gone to great lengths to try to keep you out of their world, to keep anyone from knowing about you, so you could keep your life as it is. If they have succeeded, then you should be safe. If they have not, then I’m here.” Cas glanced at you while he talked, but his eyes kept darting around the room as if he expected someone to jump out at any moment. While your mind continued to spin, your phone rang and you saw Dean’s name pop up.

“Y/N, is Cas there?”

“Yes.” Before you could say anything else, Dean kept talking.

“Good. I need you to just listen to him and do whatever he says. I don’t think you’re in danger, but I can’t be 100% sure. Sam and I just got a message telling us where and when the next strike will be, and we barely have enough time to get there.” You heard Dean sigh over the car noise in the background. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. This is everything I was trying to keep away from you.”

“I don’t understand exactly what’s going on, but I know you’re doing the best you can.” You almost didn’t hear Dean’s response.

“I just hope my best is good enough.” Dean cleared his throat. “I gotta go, but can you give the phone to Cas, first?”

“Sure, but Dean, be careful and stay safe, okay?” Dean made a choked-off noise in his throat.

“I just need you to be safe. And hopefully I’ll get to see you soon when this is all over.” You said your goodbyes and handed the phone to Cas. Cas didn’t say much, and the phone call ended quickly. After he hung up and handed the phone back to you, he looked around, searching for something.

“Do you have a computer I can use?” You were startled by the request, but pulled your laptop out and handed it to him. He opened it up, and then stared at the blank screen for a moment. When nothing happened, he turned to you helplessly. “Dean said you could help me look something up, but he was hoping I could do it without you.” Cas glanced at the blank screen again, then looked back to you. “Can you look something up for me?” You smiled and took the laptop from him, pushing the power button as you settled it into your lap. You turned so he could see the screen, too, and you watched his face as the screen flickered to life.

“What am I looking up?” You pulled up a browser window and got ready to type.

“Supernatural books by Carver Edlund. And he said to search the unpublished works, first.” You started typing and glanced at Cas, who was enraptured by the screen.

“What are we looking for in these books?” Suddenly, Cas sat back and his cheeks flushed. He adjusted his coat and his eyes flickered everywhere but at you.

“Um, well… you.” You turned to face him fully and looked at him in confusion.

“What do you mean, me? How could I be in some books someone wrote?” You watched Cas start to fidget as he stammered.

“Um, well, there was this prophet named Chuck, and he wrote all about everything the Winchesters did for a long time. We just don’t know if he wrote about when you and I first, um, you know, met.” Cas’s face was now fully red, all the way to the tips of his ears.

“How would this Chuck guy know about me if you all didn’t tell him?” Cas seemed to almost relax at this question, like this was the easiest question you’d posed all night.

“Prophets see everything. We just aren’t sure if he saw you, and if he did, if he felt you were vital enough to the plot to write about.” You tried to understand what Cas was saying, but your mind wasn’t accepting any of it.

“So, I might be in danger because some guy named Chuck may or may not have had a vision of you and me having sex, which he may or may not have considered vital to the plot of some book he was writing?” Cas’s face brightened considerably and he smiled.

“Exactly!” You kept staring at Cas incredulously while he started reading the search results. When you finally snapped out of it, you helped him search, hoping everything would eventually make sense. A half hour later, you had found the unpublished works, and Cas skimmed through them, searching for any mention of you. When he frowned, you poked his arm.

“What? Am I in there?” You shook your head as your brain tried to rebel against this whole conversation again. _How could I be in there? This whole idea is ridiculous._

“There is a mention, but it is vague enough that I don’t think it is a worry. It just says that Dean and I slept here, and doesn’t mention the bar or you by name. Apparently, Chuck didn’t think an angel having sex was a good idea, story wise. Though he had no problem describing in great detail what happened right before we met you.” Cas’s cheeks flushed again as his eyes roamed the screen. He shook his head and looked at you. “Exactly how long was it after we first met that Dean came back the second time? And can you give me any details about what was going on with them at the time, so I can see if Chuck was still writing at that time?” You thought back.

“It was about a year and a half later, at least. Dean and his girlfriend had all but broken up, and Sam didn’t have his soul. The time I saw them after that, Sam had his soul back, because he didn’t remember me. And that was when I learned the truth about you guys.” Cas nodded, and you watched his scroll down the screen. As he skimmed the text, he mumbled.

“So, after the Apocalypse, after Lisa, but before Death fixed Sam….” Your eyes bugged out, but you stayed quiet, storing these snippets of information in your mind. _Apocalypse? Lisa? Lisa must have been the girlfriend. Death fixed Sam?_ You were definitely going to do some reading later! You were drawn out of your reverie by Cas smiling triumphantly. “Aha! I’m at the end. They stop at the Apocalypse, so you should be safe, if this is truly where he’s getting his information from.” You looked back at the laptop screen, and decided to dig further, just in case.

“Well, that’s all there is in that entry. If we’re talking unpublished works, there could be more out there we just haven’t found, yet.” Cas’s triumphant face deflated. “And you said, ‘if this is where he’s getting his information from.’ Who is the mysterious ‘he,’ and what other information sources could he have?” Cas’s face hardened.

“Then I’m staying until Dean tells me the threat is neutralized.” His eyes roamed the room again, looking for potential predators. You watched him, and millions of questions swam in your mind. You wanted to know what it was like being an angel, what powers did he have, how old was he… and then there were the questions you weren’t sure you wanted to know the answers to. How had he felt about that night all those years ago, why hadn’t he ever contacted you again, had he moved on with another woman, and why had he talked to Benny about you? Cas’s eyes flew to yours, and his face flushed again. He spoke hesitantly and quietly.

“I’m older than I can describe in terms you would understand. I can travel great distances quickly, I can read minds, I can heal, I can smite demons, and there are many other things I can do that I won’t list now.” Your eyes widened and your face flushed as he continued. “About that night, it was a… good… night for me. It’s been a good memory that I have kept close.” His eyes were in his lap, now, while his fingers fidgeted. “I didn’t come back because I didn’t want to ruin it, to ruin you. I was very unhappy with Dean when I found out he’d come back, and more unhappy when I realized he was keeping in touch with you. This, right now, why I’m here tonight, is why I stayed away. Admittedly, I would put you in far worse danger than Dean does, so at least he’s better for you.” Cas paused, while you soaked in everything he was saying. “No, there hasn’t been anyone since you, for more reasons than just the ones I already described. And I spoke to Benny about you because I had to make sure he had your best interests in mind while he was staying with you.” Cas looked you directly in the eyes, and his eyes meeting yours was a shock to your system. “Although I understood Benny was a good friend to Dean, I didn’t know him that well, and I didn’t trust him with your welfare.” You nodded slowly, taking everything in, and put the laptop away.

“So, you can read minds. Good to know.” You smiled hesitantly at Cas and sighed, trying to gather your thoughts. You considered everything Cas said about you, and inferred that he cared for you in some way, and then considered that you were now with Dean, his best friend. He nodded and smiled sadly.

“Yes, I know you’re with Dean, now. And yes, he and I are okay. I had no claim on you, whether I wanted to or not.” Your eyes flew up to his, and you tried to hide the question his words brought to mind. _Did he want to have a claim on you?_ Your phone rang, thankfully distracting you from the question. It was Dean.

“Y/N, Cas needs to stay there for a while. This isn’t over.” You heard Sam yell something unintelligible in the background and a heavy crash.

“Dean, what happened?” Dean stammered for a moment when his voice broke.

“We, uh, dammit… we lost her. We thought we did everything, but we still lost her.” You heard another crash in the background. “Put Cas on.” You handed the phone to Cas. You watched Cas’s face as he listened to Dean, and saw his eyes begin to scan the room again. Cas started nodding as he spoke.

“Yes. Yes. I understand. Yes, Dean, I understand. You’re not the only….” Cas sighed and shut his eyes for a moment, then stared up at the ceiling. “Twelve hours, got it. If there’s something here, we’ll find it. I’ll do the warding myself. Dean, I’ve got it. Oh, and no, she wasn’t in the books that we could find, but apparently there could be more out there we just haven’t found, yet. Okay.” He ended the call and handed the phone back to you with the saddest expression you had ever seen.

“Who was she, Cas?” You put your phone away and Cas sighed.

“Her name was Sarah. They worked a case with her not long after Sam lost Jessica and left Stanford. He… liked her a lot.” You nodded, remembering the one night Sam had gotten drunk when Dean was in Purgatory and he’d told you about Jess. After a moment, Cas stood up and started talking.

“We need to search your apartment for anything that doesn’t belong. We have twelve hours, if Crowley is to be believed, which he probably isn’t, but that’s beside the point.” He began taking the cushions off the couch, and you stood up to get out of his way.

“What are we looking for, Cas?” Cas finished with the cushions and pulled out the bed, looking under the mattress while he spoke.

“Usually, it will look like a bag, but it could be something as small and seemingly innocuous as a coin.” When you didn’t immediately start moving, he stopped and put his hands on your shoulders. “Y/N. It could be anywhere in here, or even downstairs in the bar. _Start looking._ ” Cas then folded the bed back into the sofa and turned the sofa over like it weighed nothing to look underneath it. You walked into the kitchen in a daze and started searching.

Two hours later, you both had searched through your entire apartment and found nothing. It was now after closing, so the two of you went downstairs and searched there. By 4AM, Cas was certain there was nothing to find, but he whisked you back upstairs, anyway. He disappeared for a moment, and when he was back, he had a can of spray paint, and he began painting marks on your walls.

“Cas, what the hell? Graffiti on my walls?” Cas didn’t pause in his work when he answered you.

“Warding sigils. When I’m done, the only thing that will be able to get in here is a human or an angel. I’d ward against angels, too, but then I’d have to leave.” He finished with the can of paint and set it down on the table. He disappeared again with what sounded like a flutter of wings, and reappeared with a huge container of salt. He poured a thick line of salt by your apartment door, and on the sill of every window. When he was done, you both sat back down on the couch and you looked at the disarray that was your apartment.

“If we had more time, we could find a way to make this stuff a bit more aesthetically pleasing, right?” You smirked and Cas, and he looked serious until he saw your face, then he smiled.

“Yes, I suppose that could be done with more time.” You chuckled tiredly.

“Then let’s put that on the list for my next day off. Make, what did you call them, warding sigils, look prettier so visitors don’t freak out.” You laughed and Cas chuckled with you. You felt your eyes start to droop and let your head fall back on the couch. “I’m getting tired. Am I allowed to go to bed, or do I have to stay awake while we wait?”

“You can go to sleep, but I’d rather be in the same room with you as a precaution.” You closed your eyes while he spoke, and then nodded.

“Fine by me.” You wanted to get up and get changed and go sleep in your bed, but the exhaustion from the massive search creeped up on you and you could barely open your eyelids. Finally, you gave up and just curled up where you were, drifting off to sleep.

When you woke up, you were stretched out on the couch, sunlight beaming in through the window. As you shifted, you realized your head was in Cas’s lap, and your face flushed scarlet as you bolted upright.

“I’m so sorry, Cas. I didn’t mean to, you know….” Your voice trailed off as you tried to hide your face by rubbing your eyes and yawning.

“It’s quite all right, Y/N,” Cas said softly. “I didn’t mind.” You looked at the clock and saw it was just after 8AM. Less than four hours of sleep explained why you still felt like a wet dishrag.

“Do you need to get some sleep, since we still have a few hours before all hell might break loose?” You stood up and headed into the kitchen to make some coffee.

“Angels don’t need sleep. I’m fine.” You quirked an eyebrow at him, looking him over in the morning light, and damn if he didn’t look fresh as a daisy.

“That’s just not fair. I slept, and I probably look like roadkill. You probably haven’t slept in a millennia, and you look like the cover of GQ magazine.” You turned on the kettle and prepared your coffee. Cas spoke softly, so you almost didn’t hear everything he said.

“Although I don’t understand what you’re referring to, I can assure you, you do not look like roadkill. You always look beautiful.” You froze for an instant, wondering if you heard him say what you thought you heard him say, but then decided you must have misheard him, and started digging through your refrigerator looking for breakfast.

While you drank your coffee and ate your breakfast, you questioned Cas on angels and who Crowley was, and why you were suddenly in danger. Cas explained everything as best he could, in such a way that you knew he was trying to spin the story so you wouldn’t worry. The phrase, “King of Hell” kept bouncing around your mind, though, long after the conversation turned. After breakfast, you took a shower, using the few moments alone to collect your thoughts. You worried about Dean and Sam, either losing another person they had saved or having to give up this crusade to shut down Hell. Either way, you knew Dean would be visiting you soon, looking for his oasis of normalcy, and you only hoped you could give him what he needed. You considered Cas, and how strange it felt to be around him after so many years of silence. He was comforting and familiar, somehow, in spite of how little you knew him. After you were dressed, you worked on putting your apartment back together until the dreaded time got close. Fifteen minutes before, you sat down on the couch next to Cas and fidgeted with your hands while you waited. You looked over at Cas, and he seemed to be at attention, too, his eyes scanning the room over and over again. When the clock showed there was only one minute to go, you grabbed his hand, startling him. He stared down at your hand, and then met your eyes while you tried to smile at him.

“Thanks for being here with me.” Cas smiled and nodded, then went back to scanning the room. You held his hand tightly as the minutes ticked by. Finally, after ten minutes, you heard a phone ring, and Cas let go of your hand to reach in his pocket.

“Dean. Yes. Okay. I’ll tell her.” Cas hung up and smiled at you. “You’re safe. Crowley went after another friend of theirs, and they got him to call it off. They’re making a deal to stop all of this. You should be able to go back to normal, now.” Cas stood up, and you stood up, too, still holding his hand. “I have to go. I’ve been ignoring a call for a while, but I should answer it.” Cas looked down at your hand, still locked onto his. He pulled your hand toward him and kissed the back of it quickly, then let it drop. Before you knew what you were doing, you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. His arms slowly wound around you as he relaxed into you.

“Thank you, Cas. I mean it.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N.” He pulled away just enough that his eyes could search your face. “If you ever need anything, just pray. I’ll come as soon as I can.” With that, he stepped out of your arms and disappeared.

You decided to take a nap, but did it with your phone clutched tightly in your hand in case Dean texted or called. When you woke up a couple of hours later and there were no missed messages, you texted Dean. You only got a quick message back.

“We’re okay. Fixing this for good.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean dumps Reader via text and tells her to live happily ever after with a now human Cas. Reader helps Cas learn how to be human, and Cas teaches Reader about warding sigils. It's not exactly happily ever after, but it's close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst, nightmares, fluffiness, and smut.

The few days after Cas left, you heard very little from Dean. You would text him, and just get, “We’re okay.” On the third day, you got a different response. “Sam’s not okay, but I’m going to fix it.” A few hours later, you got another text. “We’re okay.” After that, you never heard from Dean without you texting him first, and it was always just, “We’re okay.”

Weeks passed, and to distract yourself from the lack of information from Dean, you started reading the Supernatural books online. They were an easy read, and you found you could get through about one a day. You were into the unpublished, but widely known, works when you read about how Cas had come into Dean’s life. By the time you had gotten through the Apocalypse, you had found a trove of lesser-known works that were questionably written by the same author, and only really supported by fan sites run by a BeckyWinchester176. You saw the writing style was the same, until the last one, where it claimed Sam had gotten married and lived happily ever after. You remembered Dean once texting you that Sam had gotten married, but not really, and you wondered about this Becky girl. You continued searching for more unpublished works, but what you found was all questionable. What made you question them was the lack of you in them. You had been mentioned in passing in some of Becky’s uploads, but only you would have recognized yourself, and it was all before Cas had supposedly died, so there wasn’t anything embarrassing. As you went back over everything you had read, and you had admittedly spent some extra time with the sections where Dean was with other women, you wondered how true the books really were. Obviously, Crowley had identified two people from the first few books well enough to target them and kill them, so they must be true. The night you decided that these books were the God’s-honest truth, you had nightmares about Dean. You texted him in the middle of night and practically begged him to call you or visit you. Two days later, you got an answer.

“As long as I’m in your life, I can’t keep you safe. So, I’m getting out. Cas is coming to you. He’s human, now. He can give you everything I can’t. You’ll have a good life with him.”

You stared at your phone in disbelief. Tears streamed down your face. You texted him back yelling at him about what an idiot he was, but there was no reply. You tried to call him, but he never answered. For days, you texted him whenever you thought of him, which was often, just to tell him you missed him and he was an idiot and he should call you. Then, you’d text him that he was an idiot to give you up and you never wanted to hear from him again. Five minutes later, you’d text him again and apologize, and just beg him not to shut you out. The day Cas arrived, you sent him one last text.

“Cas is here and safe. Thought you’d like to know. I’ll always be here for you, but I can’t keep chasing you. Just stay safe, Dean.”

The day Cas arrived, he stumbled in to the bar looking like he’d walked across the country get there. He wasn’t wearing his trademark suit and trench coat, he had about three days’ worth of beard growth on his chin, and he looked exhausted and thin. You took him upstairs, fed him, and sent him into the bathroom to wash up. You dug out some of Dean’s clothes that he had left behind, and hoped they would fit well enough until you could buy him his own clothes. When he came out, freshly shaved and clean, you looked him up and down and smiled. Suddenly, he crashed into your arms and crushed you to his chest.

“Thank you, Y/N, for taking care of me. I don’t know where I’d end up if I didn’t have you to turn to. The past several days have been awful. I thought I would stay with Dean and Sam, but Dean said that I couldn’t. He sent me here. He said we were both better off together and without him.” You pulled away just far enough that you could look into his face. Pain and confusion ran rampant across his features. “I don’t understand, Y/N. I just don’t understand.” You felt tears well up in your eyes as you hugged him close to you again.

“I don’t understand it, either, Cas. He basically told me goodbye and to live happily ever after with you. As if I could just turn off how I feel about him like a light switch.” Tears were streaming down your face, now, and soaking into his shirt. Cas stroked your hair while you cried. When your tears finally dried, you pulled away with a sniffle and wiped your face. You looked up at Cas and tried to smile.

“Well, then, if he doesn’t want us, then we’ll just have to figure out how to live without him.” Cas matched your sad smile with one of his own.

You called in some of your employees to cover you for a few days, and spent the time setting Cas up as a fully functioning human. You bought him a wardrobe full of clothes, a cell phone, and whatever other personal items he needed. Over the course of those first few days, you tried to get into a routine with him. Even though he had been human for a while before he got to you, he still seemed surprised by hunger and thirst and having to go to the bathroom, amongst other things. While you taught him about being human, he taught you about protection sigils and warding. He went with you to a tattoo parlor and you both got a bunch of symbols that he swore would keep you safe from angels and demons alike. The two of you also redecorated the bar and your apartment. When you were done, there were warding sigils all over the walls of the bar, each sigil covered by a picture hung over it. You joked that your bar now looked like one of those sports bar chains where the employees were required to wear “pieces of flair” on their uniforms, but Cas didn’t get the joke. Cas had even found ways to incorporate salt into everything, so the entire building was now essentially covered in salt. After a couple of weeks, you had fallen into a comfortable routine, with him helping you at the bar, and you teaching him about cooking and managing money. At night, when you’d crawl into your bed alone, you’d think of Dean and try not to miss him so much you’d cry. When you’d get a text or a phone call, you tried not hope it was Dean saying he was an idiot and begging you to take him back.

One night, you woke up sobbing from what had started as the most beautiful dream about Dean. He was back, and he kissed you and held you and told you he loved you. As his hands moved over your body, heat changed to pain as his fingers started slicing you open. You begged him to stop hurting you, but he just pulled away and turned his back to you. You tried to chase him and catch him, but you felt like you were running through molasses. You woke up screaming and crying for Dean. Cas ran into the room, wielding his angel blade and ready to defend you from whatever attacker had hold of you. When he realized there was no attacker, he dropped the blade and rushed to you, gathering you up in his arms. He smoothed your hair and rocked you back and forth, shushing you and comforting you until you calmed down. When you finally calmed down and your tears had dried, you tried to pull away, but Cas wouldn’t let you. His arms held you tightly, and he simply lay you both down while he continued stroking your hair and arm. You settled into his warmth, and slowly fell back to sleep.

When you woke up in the morning, Cas was still wrapped around you. As you stirred, so did he, and he smiled at you.

“You didn’t have to stay with me all night, Cas. It was just a nightmare.” You spoke gently, because even if he didn’t have to, you were glad he had. Cas’s smile became pained as he looked at you.

“I did it partly for me, too. I’m still not used to sleeping and… dreaming.” You watched the fear take over his face, and then moved so you were holding him instead of him holding you.

“Oh, Cas, I’m so sorry. I had no idea! It never occurred to me that you might have nightmares, too.” You held him close to you, tucking his head under your chin.

“Most of my dreams are not frightening, but they are still… unnerving. I don’t understand where the images come from, and they make me feel things I don’t understand.” His grip on you tightened for a moment, as if he was remembering something that frightened him.

“Then you’ll sleep in here for a while so I can help you understand them. You wake me up, and we’ll deal with it together.” Cas pulled away from you and sat up so he was eye to eye with you.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, and I know you don’t feel for me what you feel for Dean.” You interrupted Cas before he could go any further.

“Dean’s gone. He decided we were better off with each other than with him, so he doesn’t figure in to anything. Besides, we’re friends. And friends help each other, however they can. If you sleeping next to me helps you feel better, then I want to help you.” Cas blushed and looked away.

“I did sleep better in here last night than I have since I lost my grace.”

“Then it’s decided. You’re in here from now on.”

Over the next week, you came to be glad of the decision to have Cas sleep with you. He was truly having nightmares every night, and sometimes even his normal dreams made him wake up confused and disoriented. He would tell you what he could remember, and sometimes just hearing that a dream was normal, like dreams of falling, made him feel better. As for you, having Cas close by at night kept thoughts of Dean away, so you were content to keep things as they were.

One night, as you were both heading to bed, you noticed Cas was limping and bent over. He didn’t want to tell you what had happened at first, but he finally confessed when you wouldn’t let it go.

“I forgot that I am only human and tried to move some things around in the store room that I apparently am not strong enough to lift.” He sat down hard on the side of the bed and held his head in his hands. “And now I feel this pain, and I don’t know what to do. I was hoping it would just go away on its own.” Your heart broke for him, watching him feel his new limits, and you sat down next to him and wrapped your arms around him. “How am I supposed to protect you when I can’t even lift a couple of kegs of beer?” You pulled his face towards you so he would look you in the eye.

“If the Winchesters were here, would you trust them to protect me?” Cas nodded. “Are they human?” Cas nodded. “Then why are you cutting yourself down for being human? I know this transition is hard for you to get used to, but don’t think you are ever less than whatever you think you need to be. Now, you’ve probably just pulled some muscles in your back. Let me check you out.” You ran your hands over his back, pinpointing where his pain was and finding lots of knots and muscles in spasm. You grabbed a bottle of baby oil and a couple of towels from the bathroom, told him to strip off his shirt and lay down on the bed on one of the towels. He did what you asked, and you tried not to admire the body you had once known so intimately. He lay face down on the bed, and you straddled his hips, resting your weight on the back of his thighs. You put some oil in your palm, and spread it over both of your hands, warming it. As you began to massage his back, you tried not to think too much about the man between your legs, and you focused on knots and muscles and healing. When you started fixing the muscles that were causing him the most discomfort, though, he began to moan and groan and make some noises that seemed to travel directly to your panties. You forcefully shoved those thoughts aside and tried to concentrate on healing. As your hands moved up and down his back, though, your core moved against his ass, and you bit your lip to try and stop the thoughts that were flying through your brain. But he was beautiful. He had always been beautiful. When you thought you had rubbed out all of his knots, you wiped the oil from his back with a towel, and forced yourself to move away from him. You almost ran into the bathroom under the guise of cleaning up so you could get a hold of yourself. _You can’t play with his feelings like that. Just because he’s beautiful and you’re obviously in the mood doesn’t mean that would be a good idea._ But your body didn’t seem to want to listen. You tried to force your brain to think about anything else as you left the bathroom with some aspirin and a glass of water.

All of that went out the window when you saw Cas lying in the bed without his shirt on. You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to think more motherly thoughts. _You’re taking care of him like you took care of Sam. Be Mama Bird._ You handed him the glass of water and the aspirin and watched his throat as he swallowed. _Since when is swallowing sexy?_ You shook your head to clear it and went to the other side of the bed. You sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to get a hold of yourself. _He’s your friend, and you’re still hung up on Dean, and this isn’t fair to him._

You heard the rustling of the covers before you felt Cas’s hands on your shoulders. You almost jumped out of bed, but his hands kept you in place.

“Thank you for helping me. I feel much better, now. Can I do the same for you?” Your heart melted at his innocent tone as his hands started kneading the tense muscles in your shoulders. Inside your head, that little voice was getting quieter and quieter. _Stop. Don’t do this. This is bad._ As Cas’s fingers kneaded your skin, the little voice disappeared entirely, replaced by another voice. _Dean left you. Dean wanted you to live happily ever after with Cas, so why don’t you? You care about Cas, he cares about you, you’re certainly attracted to each other, so what’s the problem?_ Cas hit a particularly sore knot in your shoulder and you moaned appreciatively. His fingers slowed for a moment, and then he hit the spot again, drawing another moan from your lips. Without taking his hands from your shoulders, he moved so he was sitting behind you, his legs on either side of you. You put a hand on each of his thighs, feeling the hard muscles through his pajama bottoms, and you heard his breath hitch. His hands kept moving, kneading up your neck, and to the base of your skull. Your grip on his thighs tightened as he gently worked out the knots there. As his hands moved down your neck to your back, he found yet another knot and worked it out, causing more unholy noises to fall from your lips. His hands moved to your waist, then under your shirt, skin on skin, and your grip on his thighs was becoming almost vicelike. His hands worked up your back, leaving trails of warmth in their wake.

“Cas…” Your voice was hoarse and you could barely speak. “If all you want to do tonight is sleep, then you should stop and go sleep on the sofa.” Cas’s hands never faltered, just kept kneading and rubbing.

“Y/N…” Cas’s voice seemed to have dropped an octave. “I do not want to sleep on the sofa.” His hands moved around your waist to your front, and he pulled you tightly against him. You gasped at the hard length you suddenly felt against your back, and you dug your nails into his thighs as his lips pressed against your neck.

“Cas, I can’t promise you anything…” Your voice choked off into a moan as his hands moved up your stomach and found your breasts. His mouth moved up your neck to your ear.

“Right now, I don’t care,” Cas growled as he took your earlobe into his mouth and sucked on it gently. Your resolve completely disappeared at that, and you turned your head to meet his lips. The kiss was needy, with tongues everywhere. Cas’s hands moved from your breasts, and he suddenly lifted you from between his legs and turned you so you were sitting sideways in his lap. His lips left yours as he pulled your shirt over your head, then crashed back to you, his tongue invading your mouth again. While he supported your back with one hand, tangling his fingers in your hair, his other hand roamed from your hip to your breasts, kneading and teasing each one. Your arms wound around him, one tugging on his hair, the other leaving deep scratches on his back. His lips left yours to trail down your neck, and then his hand moved from your breast to under your knees and he picked you up. He turned around and laid you out gently on the bed. With a quick tug, he pulled your shorts and panties off, then did the same to his pajama bottoms. In a flash, he was in bed next to you, his mouth moving down your neck, and one hand sliding down your torso to your thighs. When his fingers found your folds and felt the wetness there, he groaned and brought his lips back up to your ear.

“I have dreamed of being right here again for so long. Touching you and feeling you and making you feel good.” His fingers gently caressed you, teasing you, and you bucked your hips up into his hand, begging for more. You trailed a finger down his stomach and took him in your hand, wiping your thumb over his wet tip and pumping him gently. He groaned as his hips jerked, and his fingers thrust inside of you, making you throw back your head and arch your back. His lips found one of your nipples and began teasing it while his fingers found a rhythm that made you cry out. He pulled your hand away from him, and removed his fingers, bringing them up to his mouth, where he licked them clean while staring into your eyes. He smiled at the look of wanton desire you gave him, and he kissed you again while he moved himself in between your legs. You watched his face as he pushed into you, and the look of pure pleasure that washed over his features almost put you over the edge. You wrapped your legs around his waist, encouraging him to shift deeper, and he groaned as he grabbed onto your thigh. He started to move, slowly at first, until you begged him to go faster. When you got to the point where you could no longer articulate words, he moved one hand between you and rubbed circles around your clit, matching his thrusts until you almost screamed his name as you came apart around him. He followed close behind you, groaning your name. He stayed over top of you for a long time, leaning on his elbows, hands touching your face and stroking your hair, lips trailing kisses on your skin wherever they could reach. You ran your fingers through his hair and looked up at his face. When his lips met yours again, you kissed him with all of the love and care you could muster.

You woke up the next morning tangled in Cas, and you spent a moment looking at his sleeping face. He looked so peaceful and happy, and it made you feel so guilty that you couldn’t love him like you loved Dean. Cas stirred, and you screwed your face into a smile. As his eyes opened and he saw you smiling at him, a wide grin took over his face. He shifted and his lips met yours in a gentle kiss that made your heart ache. _Why can’t I love him the way he deserves?_ When the kiss ended, he pulled you tightly into his arms and buried his nose in your hair.

“For a moment, I thought I had dreamed last night and I would wake up alone on the couch again.” His lips found your neck and his hands started roaming over your body, kneading and caressing your skin. You sighed his name, feeling the warmth building up between your thighs. _If nothing else, you always have this._

Later that day, while you were in the office paying bills and ordering supplies, Cas came back and asked you to cover the bar for him for a while. He only said there was something he needed to handle out back and he’d be back in a few minutes. When you saw the bar was empty except for a couple of regulars, you followed him to the back door without him seeing. It was a nice day, so you had propped the door open to let some fresh air into the kitchen, so you heard everything.

“What are you doing here, Dean? You kicked us both out of your life, so there’s nothing for you here.” _Dean?? Here??_

“Cas, you called me about these deaths, so I’m here. What did you expect?”

“I expected you to take care of it, not show up here. She’s finally… no, never mind. I’m building something here, like you told me to, Dean. You need to go.” There was a long pause.

“How is she, Cas?” A lump came up in your throat and tears pricked your eyes.

“She’s as best as can be expected considering how you threw her away like yesterday’s garbage and pushed her at me.” Another long pause.

“You two are, uh, together, uh, doing okay, then?”

“It’s none of your business anymore if we’re ‘together’ or not, but yes, we’re doing okay. Like I said, we’re building something here.” You heard Dean clear his throat.

“Good. I’m happy for the both of you.” You heard some scuffling during a long pause. “Could you come out with me and take a look at these crime scenes? I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“Dean, I have work to do here. I can’t just leave.”

“C’mon, Cas. I could really use the backup on this.” You heard a heavy sigh.

“Fine. I’ll find some excuse, but then that’s it.”

“No problem, Cas. I’ll wait in the car.”

You debated hiding and pretending you hadn’t heard, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. You stood still while Cas stepped just inside the door and watched his face fall when he saw you. He froze on the spot, so you walked over to him and admired how his blue eyes looked like sapphires with the sunlight shining in them. You cupped his face in your hands and reached up to kiss him gently. His arms slowly wound around you. When you pulled away, he looked at you sadly.

“You heard?” he asked. You nodded.

“Everything.” Your eyes dropped and he stroked your hair, then caressed your cheek until you looked up at him again. “It’s okay, Cas. I’m okay. You don’t have to hide him from me. I can’t say I want to invite him over for tea, just yet, but you don’t have to give me some story about where you’re going if you need to go with him. He needs you, so you need to go.” You reached up and gave him a quick kiss, and then stepped away from him. “Now, go. He’s waiting.” You smiled at him to reassure him, and pushed him away gently. When he paused, you swatted his butt and laughed. “Go, already!” He smiled before he turned around and walked out the door.

A few hours later, Cas texted you to see if you would be okay with him being gone for several hours, if not all night. You told him you’d be okay, as long as he stayed safe. When he finally returned after midnight, he looked like he’d been in a fight, but he swore he was okay. You patched him up, and he helped you with closing down the bar, as usual. As you were finalizing paperwork for the night and he was doing the last of the mopping, an old familiar song came on the radio. You smiled, and wondered if Cas recognized it. You stopped what you were doing and walked over to where he was, causing him to exclaim because you were walking all over his hard work. You took the mop from his hands, setting it aside, and did a little half curtsy.

“I believe they’re playing our song. May I have this dance, sir?” Cas perked his ears and heard the song, then beamed at you.

“Of course, m’lady.” He wound his arms around your waist while you wrapped yours around his neck and you swayed slowly to the music. _You’re my Mona Lisa/You’re my rainbow skies/And my only prayer is that you realize/You’ll always be beautiful in my eyes._ “You know, I wasn’t listening to the words the last time we danced to this song. It’s beautiful. Just like you.” You both pulled each other closer and continued swaying to the music. When the song ended, he gathered you into a sweet kiss that made you smile. When you broke apart, this time it was him that swatted your butt as you walked away, making you laugh.

That night, as you were digging in your refrigerator for a snack, you heard Cas digging around in your closet. When he finally surfaced, you saw him put a CD in your stereo and turn it on. It was the CD you had played that first night so many years before. You had buried it in your closet a few months later, not wanting to have yet another reminder of the mysterious stranger who had never come back. You rounded the corner from the kitchen and looked at Cas in amazement.

“How did you find that? I thought I’d buried it so far down my grandchildren wouldn’t find it.” Cas blushed a dark scarlet as he turned to you.

“I watched you when you put it in your closet.” His words were soft, and you almost couldn’t hear them.

“You what? How could you have seen me put it in there? I don’t understand.” Cas hung his head.

“I was an angel. Angels can hear prayers, and even things that aren’t spoken prayers, like longings. I heard you sometimes, when you thought about me, wondering who I was, where I was, and why I didn’t come back. If I wasn’t otherwise occupied with my Heavenly duties, or with the Winchesters, I would come to you. I made sure you couldn’t see me or sense me, but I had to know you were okay. I remember the night you put the CD in your closet. I watched you decide to bury it.” Cas touched your chin and rubbed his thumb against your lower lip, and you could see a million emotions crossing his face. “I couldn’t do anything, because if I did, you’d be in danger.” He pulled you into his arms and held you tightly. “I have visited you often over the years, partly to make sure you were still okay, partly as just a break from everything else.”

“I don’t know what to say, Cas.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I know you’ll always love Dean. I just hope you can find a space in your heart to love me, too.” You felt tears prick your eyes.

“You have always had a space in my heart, Cas. I’m just afraid that I can’t give you what you deserve. You deserve someone who can love you with their whole heart, not just a piece of it.” Cas smiled brightly in spite of the sadness you felt.

“Even a small piece of a heart such as yours is a treasure.” Cas kissed you tenderly, and started swaying to the music that was playing. When his lips left yours, you tried to speak, but he shushed you quickly. “I believe this is my favorite song.” He looked down at you with a smirk as you listened to the words coming through the speakers. _“On a fat, red velvet sofa, I want to be with you all night/I want to tickle your feet, with a peacock plume.”_ You smiled up at him and he kissed you again, more passionately this time. It wasn’t long before you were both panting and moaning, so he picked you up and carried you into the bedroom.

The next three weeks seemed almost idyllic to you. Dean wasn’t in your thoughts every single day, and Cas was doing everything he could to make you happy. Sometimes, you caught him reading the newspaper with a deep frown on his face, but when he saw you, he would push it away and pretend it was nothing. Finally, one day, you caught him reading, and he didn’t push it away. It was an article about a massacre at a biker bar. You put a hand on his arm and gave him a questioning look.

“Angels. They have to be. All dead. Something is happening, but I don’t know what.” You watched Cas fidget for a long time as he stared at the article.

“Cas, do you want to go check it out?” Cas looked up at you in alarm.

“No! I’m not an angel, anymore, and I’m not even a hunter. As Dean once said, without my powers I’m nothing more than a baby in a trench coat, and I don’t even have the trench coat any more. Besides, I’m here with you, now. This is my life, now. Helping you run the bar, keeping you safe, and making you happy are all I want to do.” You wanted to believe his words, but his eyes were again glued to the newspaper and his hand began tapping out a nervous beat on the table. You took his hand in yours, and when that didn’t get his eyes off of the paper, you crawled into his lap. When he looked up at you, you saw the urges to leave and to stay battling in his eyes. You gave him a gentle kiss, which made him smile and seem to relax a little.

“You should go.” Cas’s mouth opened and his eyes widened in alarm. You put a finger over his mouth to shush him. “This is bothering you, and you won’t be able to rest until you check it out. You go check it out, do your thing, call Dean, whatever. I’ll be here when you’re done.” You caressed his face, then gave him another kiss before getting up. He stood up next to you and pulled you into his arms. Ten minutes later, he had packed a bag and was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is an angel again, but with borrowed grace that will eventually leave him dead. He tries to spend as much of his time with Reader as he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut. Some fluff. Not too much angst.

It was almost a month before you saw Cas again. During that time you got texts and phone calls letting you know he was okay, but no real details of what was going on. The day he came back, he called you and asked you to meet him in the back alley.

“Cas, just come in. It’s a little too busy for me to leave right now.”

“Y/N, please just come outside for a minute.” You finally relented and met him outside the back door. When he saw you, he pulled you into his arms and held you for a long moment. You pulled away and looked up at him questioningly, and his lips met yours in an almost frantic kiss. After his lips left yours, he leaned his forehead against yours and whispered, “I missed you.”

“Cas, you’re acting like Dean when bad things happened. What’s wrong? Why won’t you come inside?” Cas’s eyes roamed your face sadly.

“I can’t come inside.” You started to argue with him, and he spoke over you. “Because of the warding.” His eyes closed and he sighed. You looked at him long and hard.

“You’re an angel again.” Cas nodded sadly. You pulled away from him and studied the hem of your apron while you thought. “Then tell me which sigils to change so you can come in. Because I’m not spending every moment I have with you for the rest of my life in this alley.” His eyes flew to yours in alarm.

“No, Y/N. I won’t undermine your protection.” You felt your stubbornness rising up inside of you.

“If you won’t tell me which sigils to break, then I’ll break them all and damn the consequences!” Cas’s eyes widened, and you watched him consider your face as he took a deep breath. He let it out slowly, and you saw his resolve crumble.

“Fine.” He drew out which sigils needed to be broken, and you went inside to break them. He followed you as you went, and you saw him breathe a little easier when the last one was broken. He changed into the clothing he had left behind and quietly picked up working with you at the bar like he had never left. That night in bed, he told you everything that had been going on. You couldn’t believe half of what he told you, Sam almost dying, another angel possessing him, their friend being killed, but it all made you worry about Dean and Sam. He told you about his stolen grace and how when it runs out, he would die. You looked at him in horror and launched yourself at him, holding him in your arms as if you could stop it. He pushed you away from him just enough that he could cup your face in his hands and look into your eyes.

“I’ll stay with you as long as I can, and when I’m not here, I’ll call and text you every day. And if I don’t find a solution, then I’ll come here before the end. I won’t disappear on you again, I promise.” He kissed you and held you until you finally relaxed into him again.

The following two weeks were a whole new lesson in living with Cas. Suddenly, he didn’t need sleep, and your store room had never looked neater. At first, you were startled when he would answer questions you hadn’t verbalized, but you found that telepathy added an extra spice to your love life. He showed you his wings, which you thought were beautiful, and you found out that stroking them was a huge turn on for both of you.

He stayed with you until he told you he was hearing a call he couldn’t ignore any longer. Before he left, he made sure all of the sigils were intact, again, telling you that even angels weren’t to be trusted, anymore. True to his word, he called or texted you every day, telling you he was safe and that he missed you.

Five months later, he called you after closing from outside the bar again, and you broke the angel warding so he could come in. He looked like death, and he collapsed into your arms. You tried to get him to rest, but he refused to even sit until he had checked every sigil and lock in the building. When he finally sat down on the sofa, you sat down next to him and caressed his face while he spoke. He told you about Dean taking on the Mark of Cain, fighting Metatron, and dying. He held you while you sobbed, and when you finally got quiet, he told you how Dean’s body disappeared.

“Y/N, we don’t know what happened. Sam swears he was dead. Cold, no pulse, no breathing, dead. But the note was in Dean’s handwriting. We think Crowley’s done something, but we don’t know what. Crowley’s not responding to our calls, and we can’t find Dean anywhere. Sam’s going crazy right now. I wanted him to come here with me for a day or two to rest, but he refused.” Cas lowered his eyes sadly. “I had to stop fighting with him when I failed to protect him and he injured his shoulder.” Cas closed his eyes for a moment. “He’s better off without me.” You swallowed all of the questions you had about Dean and focused on Cas.

“How are you feeling, physically? Because you don’t look so good.” You stroked his hair and he smiled at you gently.

“I don’t feel very good. That’s why I’m here. I don’t know how much longer I have. So, if this is the end, I want to be here with you.” He kissed you gently as new tears ran down your face. “And now, because I can hear it screaming from your head in spite of your attempts to hide it, I will answer the question you want to ask.” He smiled at you sadly. “I don’t know, but it’s possible that Dean could be alive. What worries me is if he isn’t Dean anymore. That’s why I checked the sigils and the physical locks. We don’t know what he might be, if he’s breathing. Or, Crowley could have just taken his body for some twisted reason. We don’t know. Whatever’s going on, we have to be prepared for it.” You and Cas shared a sad look and then a gentle kiss. You finally convinced him to go to bed and rest, but he would only go if you joined him. You snuggled up next to your angel while he wrapped an arm around you and kissed your head. As he fell asleep, you wondered how far gone he really must be to actually sleep.

The next few days were good, in that you and Cas were getting to spend quality time together, but also bad, because you saw how diminished he was. You did your best to make the days count, showing him in any way you could how you cared about him. You woke him up in the morning with little kisses and gentle touches, found excuses to dance with him no matter where you were or who was watching, and you wrapped yourself up in him every night before you fell asleep. Every time you saw Cas smile, your heart lifted, in spite of how you wondered how much time he had left.

His time with you was cut short, however, when a dark-haired woman entered the bar one afternoon and just stood there, staring at Cas until he saw her. His face fell and then hardened before he walked over to greet her. You debated if you should follow, but when you saw them argue, you stepped closer.

“No matter how much I might want to help, Hannah, I can’t. I have… commitments here.”

“Castiel, I need your help. Heaven needs your help.” You had tried not to interfere, but you couldn’t keep quiet anymore. You stepped to Cas’s side and looked at Hannah angrily.

“He’s sick. You know it, I know you do. How can you ask him to do anything when he’s like this?” You wanted to say _dying_ , but you couldn’t bring yourself to say the word without crying. Hannah looked at you sadly.

“Y/N, I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need to.” That she knew your name startled you, but didn’t shake your anger. “Most of the angels who fell during the fall have returned to Heaven. A few have not. Some out-and-out refuse. Rogues. Two of them have killed one of our own for only attempting to bring them back home.” Cas grabbed your hand and squeezed it.

“Who were they?” he asked.

“Daniel and Adina. They must be found. They must be brought home, and they must be punished for the sake of all. Will you help me?” Hannah was now pleading with Cas with her eyes. Cas looked at you for a moment, and then nodded.

“Yes.” You looked at Cas in alarm, but he squeezed your hand and smiled sadly at you, then turned back to Hannah. “I’ll be ready in ten minutes.”

You followed Cas as he went upstairs and changed into his suit and trench coat. When he was done, he pulled you into his arms for a long, slow kiss, and then held you tightly to his chest.

“I’ll come back when this is done.” You fought tears as he stroked your hair and kissed your forehead.

“You’d better.” You reached up and kissed him one last time, then followed him back down to the bar. As Cas turned to go, Hannah turned to you and tried to smile reassuringly.

“I’ll watch over him.” You nodded at her and watched them walk out the door.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demon!Dean pays Reader a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put the dubious consent label in the tags for this chapter. If you have issues, I think you can skip this chapter without missing too much.

A couple of days later, you were still checking your phone constantly for texts from Cas. He was able to send a couple of texts a day, but that was it. You were having a bad night, with one of your employees having left sick, leaving you with all of the cleanup duty. You dropped your phone in your apron pocket, grabbed the last trash bag of the night, and headed out back to the dumpster. You threw the heavy bag into the dumpster, and then stood there for a moment, catching your breath. As you were about to turn around and head back inside, two heavy hands landed on your shoulders. You jumped in fright, just as a familiar voice spoke softly in your ear.

“Hey, there, Y/N. It’s good to see you.” As Dean caressed your shoulders, you felt his breath whoosh past your ear, causing goosebumps to spread down your back. You relaxed, forgetting for a moment the hurt Dean had caused you, relishing the feel of him next you again.

“Dean.” All you could say was his name, as a million feelings rushed into your brain. Where has he been? Why did he push you away? Why did he come back? Dean’s lips found your neck as his hands slid down your arms, encircling you in his embrace and pulling you back against his warm chest. Your body immediately relaxed into him as his lips moved against your neck. It felt like a dream, Dean being with you and touching you like he used to. The dream was broken when your phone rang. You started, momentarily pulling away from him slightly, but his arms kept you in place.

“Let it go, sweetheart. It can’t be that important.” The feel of his lips and his voice against your neck made you weak in the knees, but your phone rang again, clearing your brain.

“I have to answer it. It might be Sam or Cas. They’ll want to know you’re here and you’re safe. Dean, we’ve been worried sick about you for weeks.” You tried to reach into your pocket to get your phone, but Dean’s arms held you too tightly.

“I said, let it go.” You kept trying to fight Dean to reach your phone, but he was too strong. Finally, he grabbed your phone out of your pocket and answered it himself. “Heya, Sammy. No, she can’t come to the phone right now, she’s a little indisposed. Don’t you worry, little brother, Y/N and I are just catching up.” You heard Sam’s voice yelling through the phone, but couldn’t understand his words. “All right, then, we’ll see you when you get here.” Dean ended the call and dropped the phone into his own pocket.

“Dean, what’s wrong? Why don’t you want me to talk to Sam?” Dean’s lips were back on your neck, and he put the hand that had put away the phone flat on your stomach over your jeans. He gently pulled your hips back so you were pressed completely against him, and you felt the bulge in his pants hard against you.

“I just want you all to myself, is that so wrong?” His hand on your stomach slid down between your legs and he pressed into your core through your jeans. His other hand slid off of your arm and cupped one of your breasts, kneading it gently.

“Dean, we have to talk.” You tried to keep your thoughts clear. You needed to think about Cas, but Dean was pushing all of your buttons the way he knew so well. “You left me, Dean. You told me to be with Cas.” Dean’s hand between your legs started rubbing and you moaned. “God, Dean, you can’t do this to me until we talk. I’m with Cas, now.” Dean’s hands stiffened, squeezing you painfully. You tried to pull away, but Dean still had a hold on you that you couldn’t break. You fought harder, and he stopped caressing you to keep his hold on you. He subdued you easily, then started dragging you to his car. “Dean, what are you doing?”

“We’re going for a drive.” Dean’s voice sounded cold, and you felt a shiver go down your spine. He dragged you to the passenger side of his car, opened the door and pushed you in. He slammed the door shut, just barely missing hitting your foot with the door as you scrambled to right yourself. He stalked around the front of the car, and you stared at him through the glass, trying to identify what exactly was different about him. Something seemed off, he seemed so cold, suddenly. But he was so warm when he was holding you? He slid into the driver’s seat and slammed his door shut, starting the car at the same time. Before you knew it, he was peeling out of the alley behind your bar.

“What’s wrong with you, Dean? Cas told me you died.” At the sound of Cas’s name, his right hand turned into a fist and motioned like he was going to hit you, but it stopped midair and dropped back to the steering wheel. You watched as his knuckles turned white.

“Yeah, I know how Cas has been taking care of you.” He spit out the words with so much venom you were speechless. “And, baby, there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m fan-fucking-tastic!” You felt a shiver go down your spine at the tone of his voice.

“Where are you taking me, Dean?”

“Some place where we can have a little privacy.” He turned to you and smiled a cold smile, then his eyes raked over your body. You remembered other times Dean had looked at you like that, and every time it had made your face red and your panties wet. Something about this time was different, though.

“We could have had privacy back at the bar, Dean. Why are you taking me somewhere else?” Dean scowled.

“Oh, I planned on staying at your place, until I couldn’t get inside. Your _boyfriend_ knows his sigils, that’s for sure.” You thought of the warding and the salt, and remembered everything Cas had told you they would keep out. You took a shuddering breath.

“You’re a monster, then.” You stared at Dean sadly, looking for the monster in him, but somehow still only seeing the man. He turned to you and blinked, then smiled while you gasped.

_His eyes were black._

And not just the irises, the sclera, too. Underneath his eyelids was nothing but inky black pools of evil darkness.

“I’m a demon.” He chuckled as his eyes went back onto the road. Your brain started scrambling, trying to remember if Cas had ever told you anything about demons, but coming up empty. You’d never been interested in the finer points of monster hunting, especially since you knew the reason why your hunters came to you was to get away from hunting. You regretted not asking more questions, now.

“So, you’re not really Dean, then. You’re just some monster walking around in his skin.” You looked away from him, feeling the tears prick your eyes with this seeming confirmation that the man you loved was dead.

“Oh, no, honey! This is all me! New and improved!” As he chuckled, he pulled into the parking lot of a cheap motel. You tried to see the sign, but only saw part of it. After he parked the car, he grabbed your arm roughly and pulled you out of the car through the driver’s side door. As you struggled to find your feet, he wrapped his arms around you, pinning your arms to your sides painfully. He paused for one moment and growled into your ear. “You behave, or you’re gonna regret it, sweetheart.” You nodded quietly and tried to keep your feet under you as he almost dragged you to the motel room door. He held you easily with one arm while he unlocked the door and opened it, then threw you inside. You tripped over the threshold and fell onto the bed haphazardly, then toppled off the bed to the floor. Dean grabbed your arm again and lifted you like you weighed nothing, bruising your arm and jerking on your shoulder. You cried out in pain as he tossed you onto the bed. He kicked the door shut with a bang, and then smugly turned the dead bolt.

You heard your phone go off in Dean’s pocket, and he pulled it out. He smirked and chuckled darkly, showing you the picture on the screen. It was Cas. You reached for the phone, but his face darkened to rage and he threw it as hard as he could against the wall. You watched it break into several pieces, and the ringing stopped. You thought about Cas, and what he would think when you didn’t answer, and that’s when it hit you.

 _Cas, Dean has me. We’re at a cheap motel called Pine something. Call Sam!_ You hoped the prayer reached Cas, and that between the two of them, they could find their way to you.

You sat on the side of the bed while Dean paced back and forth for a minute, seeming to try and control his anger. You rubbed your shoulder and your arm to take away the sting. Dean finally sat down next to you on the bed, but then surprised you by taking your head in his hands and kissing you. You were caught by surprise, at first, and then the smell of him enveloped you. For a moment, you were home, kissing the man you loved. You felt your body begin to respond, forgetting that the man behind the lips wasn’t your Dean. He tore himself away, and roughly shoved your head away from him. You whimpered at the sudden change from almost affection to violence and hung your head, touching your lips with your fingers. Dean sneered at you.

“You know, you always were so very responsive for me, and you let me think that it was me, didn’t you? But it wasn’t me, was it? You’re just a slut who will come on any dick that looks at you twice, aren’t you?” Your eyes flew to his, and you wanted to argue, but a little voice inside your head told you not to. You couldn’t stop your head from shaking, though, which angered Dean all over again.

“No? Really? See, I find that hard to believe, because you’ve never had a problem moving on from me, have you? I spent a fucking year in Purgatory, fighting fucking monsters every fucking hour of every fucking day, fighting just to get back to you. And when I finally do, you’re fucking Jeff! And let’s not forget my little brother!” Your voice tried to come back to argue, but all you managed was a strangled cry as you continued shaking your head. “Don’t you try to say you didn’t fuck my little brother, you little whore! You even told me he was in your bed! Mama Bird, my ass.” Dean started pacing back and forth in the small room, not caring that tears were now streaming down your face. “And then, the final blow, was it a whole two minutes after you told me you were mine before you were fucking Cas? I bet your sheets were still warm!” You couldn’t stop yourself from trying to argue anymore.

“In case you’ve forgotten, you jackass, _you left me_. You’re the one who told me to go make a life with Cas. You’re the one who stopped answering your phone. You’re the one who pushed me away, Dean. I never wanted you to go!” Dean stormed towards you and slapped your face so hard you saw stars.

“It didn’t take long for you get over me, though, did it? Don’t you get it? _I saw you_. I saw you kissing on Cas when you didn’t think I could see. I saw you dancing with him in the bar.” Dean leaned over you, causing you to back up over the bed. As you backed up, he kept advancing, until your head was against the pillows, one of his knees was in between yours, and his head was just over yours. As he spoke, his eyes traveled over your face and down your chest. “I couldn’t even stand to be near another woman, and you were already sucking Cas’s cock.” He brought his hand up to your neck, and trailed a finger down the edge of your blouse until he reached the top button. His voice got deeper as he unbuttoned a button. “I was stuck jerking off in my hand to memories of you while Cas got the real deal.” He reached behind you and untied your apron, then sent it flying. “Hell, I couldn’t even bang an actual porn star without thinking about you, and all the while, you’re riding the baby in the trench coat.” He ripped open the rest of your blouse, buttons flying everywhere, exposing your bra. As his eyes roamed your body, you felt the old familiar heat pooling between your legs, in spite of his hateful words. You brought your hand up to his face and caressed his cheek. His eyes flew up to yours and for a split second, you saw a hint of your Dean. But it didn’t last, and his eyes turned icy again before his lips slammed onto yours. His tongue dominated your mouth as his teeth hit yours. He kissed you until you were almost fighting for a breath, then growled at you, “It’s time you remember who you really belong to.” His eyes blinked black again as he hovered over you. “Me.”

Dean then moved his mouth to your neck, to the spot that only he knew so well. “I’m gonna make sure the fucking angel knows that you’re mine.” He started biting and sucking at your neck, making you moan. His teeth were rough, and you thought he might have even drawn blood. In a flash your shirt was gone. He moved down your chest, found the swell of your breast just above the cup of your bra, and bit you again, licking the skin to soothe it until you whined. He unclasped your bra, removing it entirely, and started pinching and kneading your breasts, causing you pain and then easing it. “Gonna make you come so hard you scream my name and forget any other cock but mine, baby.” He pressed his hips into yours and you felt the bulge in his pants press into your core. In spite of how rough he was, there was warmth between your thighs and it was growing. This was still Dean, and he knew every button to push to make you want him. “Tell me you want it like I know you want it, Y/N.” You cried out his name as he ground his hips down into yours again, and you heard him chuckle. “You are such an easy lay, you slut.” He moved his mouth down your stomach, biting and licking, sucking and nibbling, making sure he left deep marks in your skin. He backed away from you and pulled off your jeans and panties. Your eyes followed him as he stripped down, taking in every inch of him. He was still beautiful, and the sight of him standing there, cock hard and at attention, made your breath catch. Dean caught you looking at him and chuckled sadistically. “Just begging for it, now, aren’t you, sweetheart?” He moved back onto the bed next to you and abruptly thrust two fingers inside of you, startling you so you cried out. He praised you for how wet you were and started thrusting his fingers into you at a punishing pace. You started moaning in spite of yourself, and when you felt his tongue on your clit, you almost yelled his name.

“That’s right, baby. Scream it.” He started alternating between sucking and nipping on your clit, and it wasn’t long before you came all over his fingers, moaning his name loudly. As his fingers disappeared, you whined, and felt a hard smack on your thigh. “You’ll get what you want, sweetheart, no need to get impatient.” Suddenly, he had flipped you over, pulling your hips off the bed and spreading your legs. He pushed inside of you abruptly, seated to the hilt, and you cried out with surprise. He bent over you and tweaked your nipples while he started to pound into you. He kept talking to you as he built up momentum, calling you every dirty name in the book to humiliate you while using his fingers to tease you and make you moan. You blocked out the words he was saying and concentrated on just being with Dean again, and your hips bucked into his as his fingers found your clit. When he finally made you come, you yelled his name, and he came violently after you.

After he was done, he quickly got dressed again while you collapsed on the bed. Tears streamed down your face at the loss of the Dean you loved. Knowing that the gentle man who loved lazy morning sex and burgers and pie was gone broke your heart. Facing that what had replaced him was brutal and punishing felt like he had taken the broken pieces of your heart and stomped on them. You watched Dean as he threw water over his face and ran fingers through his hair to straighten it. He looked like your Dean, he smelled like your Dean, and his body felt like your Dean, but that was where the similarity ended. Dean was gone.

Just then, Dean turned around and saw you looking at him. He smirked at you, then bent down and picked your panties up off the floor. Instead of giving them to you, though, he gave them a long sniff and stuffed them in his pocket with a smile. As you covered yourself with the sheet, he walked over to you, sneering. He grabbed your chin roughly, and made sure you were looking in his eyes.

“I’m sure either Cas or my brother are almost here, by now, so I’m leaving. But you remember, sweetheart… you’re _mine_.” His lips crashed to yours again with bruising force. As he turned to walk out the door, you stopped him.

“Dean.” He turned to you for a moment, and you saw the brilliant green eyes you fell in love with. “Dean, if you’re still in there somewhere, stay safe.” Dean sneered at you and walked out the door.

After he was gone, you slowly got your wits about you, found the motel name and room number, and prayed to Cas. A few minutes later, the motel phone rang, and it was Cas. He said he and Hannah were only a few minutes away, and Sam was close behind. You told him Dean was gone and they could take their time. You hung up the phone and stayed sitting on the bed, wrapped in the sheets.

Sam actually reached you first, and you yelled for him to come in when you heard his gentle knock on the door. When he saw you sitting on the bed, his face crumpled, and he rushed to your side.

“Y/N, God, are you okay?” He reached to touch you, and then thought better of it, pulling away from you.

“I feel pretty numb, really. I’m not sure how to feel right now.” Sam looked over your face, neck, and arms.

“Y/N, did he hurt you…physically?” You couldn’t bring yourself to say yes or no, so you just looked up at him sadly. He sighed, and then looked around the room until he found your clothes. He handed you your jeans and bra, and then held your ripped shirt in his hands for a moment before leaving the room. You struggled with your sore shoulder, but finally managed to put on your bra while he was gone, and when he came back, he handed you one of his shirts. He saw you treat your shoulder carefully, and rushed to help you get the shirt over your shoulders. He searched the room again, not finding what he was looking for, and his face turned red.

“I’m not seeing, um, your, you know….” His voice trailed off as you looked down into your lap.

“He took them.” You heard the choked noise Sam made, and it forced you into action. _Pull yourself together. Get cleaned up and get dressed. You don’t want Cas to see you like this._ You made sure you were covered by Sam’s shirt when you got up, grabbed your jeans, and headed into the bathroom. You used the scratchy washcloth and depressing bar of soap by the tub to clean yourself up enough to pull on your jeans. You looked at your face in the mirror and winced at what you saw. No wonder Sam reacted the way he did. You had a bruise forming over your cheekbone from when Dean had slapped you, and the mark on your neck was big and angry-looking. You pulled open the top buttons of the shirt and the marks on your chest were equally angry. You hated that Sam had seen them, but especially didn’t want Cas to see them. You buttoned the shirt all the way up, and ran your fingers through your hair, getting out the worst of the tangles and pulling it front to hide your neck. There wasn’t much you could do about your face, though. You took a deep breath and left the bathroom.

Cas and Hannah had arrived while you were gone, and Sam and Cas were talking low by the bed with Hannah standing by the door. Cas rushed to you and cupped your face in his hands. You tried to smile at him, but the sadness on his face overwhelmed you. You thought of what Dean had said, about seeing you with Cas, and you pulled away from him nervously. You carefully picked up the remains of your phone and looked at the other three.

“Let’s get out of here, okay?” All three nodded at you and you left the room. Cas looked sad when you chose to ride with Sam instead of him, but said nothing. Once you were on the road, you steeled yourself and spoke. “Sam, Dean thinks we slept together. I think you need to know that.” Sam nodded and you saw his jaw clench.

“Y/N, I’m going to fix it. I promise you. I’m going to find him and I’m going to save him, no matter what it takes.” His knuckles turned white on the steering wheel as he drove.

“Okay. And when you do, and he’s Dean again, you drag his ass back here. He won’t want to come, but he and I have to talk.” Sam’s eyes widened and he looked at you incredulously.

“After what he just did to you, you want me to bring him back here? Y/N, tell me I’m wrong, but it looks like he beat you, and, and…you know….”

“I know where you’re going, but it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t a memory I’ll treasure forever, but it wasn’t what you’re thinking. But it did tell me a lot about how he’s been feeling since he dumped me, and he and I have to work that out. So, when he’s himself again, you drag him back here.” You set your jaw firmly and looked out the window. You heard Sam quietly agree before you pulled up in front of the bar. You got out of the car and led the three of them inside. Once you were in the bar, you looked at Sam and Cas. “Guys, I wasn’t quite done with the nightly cleanup when Dean grabbed me. Can you guys finish up down here while I take a shower? Hannah can help me, if that’s okay with you?” Both men looked at you quizzically and sadly, but agreed. You watched them take stock of what needed to be done before you led Hannah upstairs.

Once you were alone in your apartment, you turned to Hannah.

“Angels can heal people, right?” Hannah nodded quietly. “Then, for Cas’s sake, I need you to heal me.” You saw the confusion on her face, until you unbuttoned Sam’s shirt and she saw the marks on your neck and chest. Her eyes widened.

“Y/N, Cas needs to know…” You interrupted her.

“Knowing and seeing are two different things. Sam saw, and I’m sure he already told Cas, so Cas knows. I don’t want Cas to see this. It’s bad enough he saw my face and knows my shoulder’s hurt. Dean wanted him to see this, and I don’t. Now, can you heal me, or not?” Hannah nodded, and lightly pressed two fingers to your forehead. You felt a tingling warmth spread through your body, and as it dissipated, so did your pain. You took a deep breath and sighed. “Thank you, Hannah.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N.”

By the time you were showered and into comfortable clothes, the boys were done with the bar, and the three of them were discussing their plans. Sam decided to leave, saying he had a bead on where Dean might be going. Cas said he wanted to stay until the next day, even though sunlight was already streaming through your windows. Sam told him to stay for a day or so, at least until he knew for sure if his lead would pan out. While they spoke, you went around your apartment and closed every shade, blind, and curtain, making sure no one could see inside. When everything was shut tight, you gave Sam a hug goodbye, telling him to grab whatever he wanted from the kitchen for the road.

“Still trying to feed me, Mama Bird?” Sam smiled down at you and you smiled back.

“Always, Baby Bird.” You patted his chest and headed to bed, with Cas following behind you.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Reader have a talk about their relationship. Dean is cured and Sam drags him, as promised, to The Oasis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut, just some fluff and some angst,

You woke up several hours later cuddled with Cas, his lips trailing light kisses on your forehead and his arms wrapped around you. You smiled sadly and sighed, causing Cas to shift so he could look at your face.

“How are you feeling this morning, Y/N?” You had dreaded talking to him at all, and had been glad when he let you go to sleep without talking.

“Physically? Hannah was nice enough to heal me, so I’m fine there.” You partly hoped he would accept that as an answer, but you suspected he wouldn’t.

“I am aware that you asked her to heal you so I wouldn’t see the extent of your injuries.” Cas spoke quietly and returned his lips to your forehead. “I was hoping to assess your emotional state.” You traced patterns on his chest through his t-shirt while you carefully considered your answer.

“Confused. Sad. A little scared, but not much. Mostly confused and sad.” You continued fingering his shirt and not looking up at him.

“Is there any way I can help?” You looked up at Cas’s sweet face and your heart melted.

“Probably not. But I do need to talk to you.” You went back to studying your fingers on his shirt. “Dean was very upset that I was able to move on with you so quickly. Everything he did last night was about punishing me and claiming me.” Cas interrupted you.

“That wasn’t Dean, Y/N, that was the demon. Dean wanted you to be happy.” You sighed.

“Dean may have said that he wanted me to be happy, but part of him was hurt that I was able to be happy so quickly. And he’s not wrong. Everything he said last night may have been horrible, but with the exception of thinking I had slept with Sam, it was all true. He went to Purgatory, I moved on with Jeff. The last time I saw him, I told him I was his, but just a few weeks later, he saw me kissing and dancing with you.” Cas shifted suddenly to look at your face.

“He saw us?” You nodded.

“That’s why I closed all the shades and blinds and curtains last night. Just in case he’s out there watching, I don’t want him to see anything in here that he can misinterpret.” Cas’s eyes glanced around the room and then settled back to your face.

“And why you wouldn’t let Sam or I touch you last night.” You nodded.

“There’s something else I need to explain to you. A long time ago, Dean and I agreed that we would keep things open between us. He could have his waitresses, and I’d understand. For my part, I told him I’d only be with someone else who was willing to share me with Dean.” You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Before you could speak, Cas interrupted you.

“I know how you feel about Dean, even after last night, and I know how you feel about me.” You looked at him in alarm and he smiled gently. “I’m an angel, remember? I can read minds. And I love you, so I tend to be more attuned to you than other people.” A wave of guilt passed through you. Cas hooked a finger under your chin and made you look at him again. “There’s nothing to feel guilty about. I know that the part of you that loves me is much smaller than the part of you that loves Dean. I’ve known that since the night Dean sent me here to protect you from Crowley.” Your eyes widened.

“Cas, I didn’t even know if I had feelings for you then!” Cas smiled.

“Even if I wasn’t an angel, the CD was still buried in your closet.” Cas blushed a little, and so did you. “If you felt nothing for me, anymore, it would have been with the rest of your collection.” You relaxed back into his arms, staring again at your fingers on his chest. “What I think you’re getting at, and what I want you to know, is that I will take whatever role in your life you want to give me. I understand that you need to work this out with Dean. If that means I have to share you with him, or if that means I have to go away and just be your friend, then so be it.” You looked up at Cas with tears in your eyes.

“I don’t know what to say.” Cas pulled you closer and his lips found yours for a soft kiss.

“It’s time to get up and get going, anyway. If I remember correctly, there should be some deliveries arriving soon.” Cas smiled at you and you swatted his butt as he left the bed.

Cas helped you at the bar all day, and the two of you tried to answer all of Hannah’s questions about the mundane aspects of human life. In return, Hannah kept a watchful eye outside the bar for Dean or any other dangers. When a good song came on the radio, the two of you showed Hannah about slow dancing, and you chuckled to yourself when you saw her cheeks flush when Cas put his hand on her back. Sam called that night to let you and Cas know that his lead on Dean was solid, and he thought he would catch up to Dean in a day or so. Cas promised they would leave the next morning to catch up with him. You and Cas spent a restful night sleeping in each other’s arms before the morning came and they had to leave. You made Cas promise that he would help Sam drag Dean back to you once he was fixed, and Cas promised with a sad smile.

Over the next few days, Sam and Cas kept you updated on everything that happened with Dean. Cas told you about his recharged grace, Sam told you when he had Dean locked down, but then you heard nothing for a day. Finally, Cas called to tell you that Dean was back to himself, but would need a few days to rest.

“He will barely talk to me, Y/N, he just gives me these guilty looks. Every time I try to mention you, he interrupts me to talk about what to eat for lunch or he leaves the room to do laundry. We will get him there, I promise, but it will be a few days.”

A few days turned into two weeks, and Sam was able to get Dean to come without needing Cas to come with them. Sam walked in alone and at down at the bar. You poured him a beer and smiled at you thankfully.

“He’s in the car. He doesn’t want to come in. Cas yelled at him before he left with Hannah, and that’s when he finally agreed to come, but the drive here was quiet until I parked. He just won’t get out.” Sam paused and took a long drink from his beer. “He doesn’t understand why you’d want to see him after what he did to you.” You squeezed Sam’s hand and asked him to watch the bar for you. He nodded, and you headed out the door.

When you saw the car, the same car, and Dean sitting in the passenger seat, your breath caught in your throat. When Dean saw you, you watched him try to fold himself up and become invisible. You opened the driver’s side door and got in. Dean faced out the window while you looked forward. Several minutes passed in silence as you considered exactly what you wanted to say. While you thought, you felt Dean squirm next to you.

“Out of everything that you’ve done over the past year or so since I saw you last, I honestly think that the worst was when you just stopped talking to me.” You felt, rather than saw, Dean’s surprise as you continued looking out the front windshield. “I mean, everything else I can almost understand. In your own, stupid way, you thought you were doing what was best for me by pushing me to be with Cas. And in a twisted, obviously demonic way, I understand why you felt the need to punish me. I just can’t get past the way you completely cut me off like I was nothing. No discussion about what I wanted, you just decided for me what was best for me and left.” You finally looked over at Dean, and you saw the guilt and the tears in his eyes as he studied the hem of his shirt. “If you and I are going to work, you have to let me be a part of these big life decisions.” Dean’s eyes flew up to yours in disbelief. “I’m serious, Dean. You don’t get to unilaterally decide who I do and do not want in my life, up to and including you. From now on, we talk about these things. Got it?”

Confusion had completely taken over Dean’s face when he nodded quietly.

“Now that that’s settled, I need you to know that I want you in my life, and I need to know if any part of you wants to be in mine.” You tried to keep your voice and breathing steady as you waited for his reply. Dean started to shake his head before he spoke.

“There’s no way you mean that, Y/N. Not after what I did to you.” He studied the hem of his shirt and you saw a single tear fall down his face. You turned sideways in the seat, sliding closer to him, and took his head in your hands. You wiped the tear from his cheek and forced him to look you in the eye.

“Have you ever known me to say something I didn’t mean?” Dean’s eyes were wide and frightened like a small child’s, and you resisted the urge to climb in his lap and wrap your arms around him. You dropped your hands, hoping he wouldn’t drop his gaze, but he did. “Dean, I need to know if you still want to be with me, or if you’ve moved on and have no interest in me anymore.” You almost choked out the last words, and he looked up at you at the sound. “Because if any part of you still wants me, then we’re going inside and working this out.” Your eyes dropped and a tear fell down your cheek. “But if you’ve moved on to someone else, then I’ll leave you alone and tell Sam he can take you home, now.” Another tear joined the first and you wiped it away angrily. You saw Dean’s hand rise up towards your face, and then drop again before he spoke.

“I don’t deserve you, but I’ll always want you, Y/N.” You took a deep breath and finally forced your gaze to meet Dean’s. You started to smile, and then crashed your lips to his. You held his head in your hands, and his hands slowly moved to your hips. As the kiss deepened, he pulled you into his lap so you were straddling his legs, and wound his arms so tightly around you he almost took your breath away. When he finally pulled his lips from yours, he buried his face in your hair and groaned. “How can you even stand to be near me right now?” His hands kneaded into your back. “I hurt you so badly. I remember the bruises…” His voice choked off with a sob. You pulled away from him just enough to see his face, tears running down his cheeks.

“I love you, Dean, and that wasn’t you. That’s how.” Dean’s brilliant green eyes were wide and rimmed with red as he searched your face. When he found whatever he was looking for, he kissed you softly, then crushed you to his chest again.

“I don’t ever want to be without you again.” Even though it wasn’t the same three words you had said to him, you knew what he meant.


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slice of Reader's life as she's shared by Dean and Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much just fluff and smut.

A few months later, your carefully constructed agreement with both Dean and Cas finally fell afoul of a scheduling snafu, and you were working the bar while the two men were upstairs decided who would stay and who would go. The two men had been gracious about sharing you, with Dean saying that he was only bothered by you being with Cas in the past because he couldn’t be with you. There were times when you doubted his sincerity when he said that, but he seemed determined to do anything to make you happy. As you poured beers and shots for your customers, you wondered how the discussion upstairs was going. Dean was darker since he got the Mark, and part of you worried that he would fight with Cas. If not fighting, what would they do, a roshambo tournament to see who stays and who goes? Draw straws? You shook your head and smiled, knowing that you were a lucky woman either way, and just hoped for the best.

After an hour, they both came downstairs, Cas in his bar clothes and Dean without his bag, and Cas started quietly doing whatever needed to be done. Dean gave you a quick kiss before he left, telling you he would be back in an hour. Sure enough, an hour later, you heard the back door slam and his heavy footfalls on the stairs. Ten minutes later, he was back downstairs, and after a quick conversation with Cas, he was pitching in and cleaning up. You watched both of them, wondering if they were somehow competing for your affections. First one to clean the most tables wins? Last one into the grease trap is a rotten egg? As you watched, though, they helped each other. By closing, most of the bar was spotless, and they shuffled the few stragglers out the door promptly. When the three of you were alone, you finally had to ask.

“Okay, what did you two decide? And why do you both look like the cat that ate the canary?” Cas blushed furiously as he mopped, and Dean just smirked and winked at you as he passed you with a bag of garbage.

“That’s for us to know and you to find out, sweetheart.” Dean swatted your butt just before he was out of reach and chuckled as he went out the back door. You stared at Cas, who was pointedly keeping his eyes on his work while he moved the wet mop across the floor. You shook your head and went back to your paperwork.

The boys finished with everything long before you did, leaving you to your counting and reconciling alone. As you were just finishing up, you heard Cas’s footfalls on the stairs, and a few minutes after that, his arms wrapped around your waist. He propped his chin on your shoulder for a moment, watching you pack up credit card receipts and bundles of cash. When he was sure you weren’t counting anything, you felt his lips on your neck, sending goosebumps up and down your spine. You moaned quietly, trying to keep your head together so you didn’t mess up all of your hard work. As he saw you put the finishing touches on everything, you felt his lips suck lightly on your skin, followed by his tongue licking in circles. You moaned louder this time, feeling heat go straight to your core. You let go of everything in your hands, and moved your hands on top of his. You tilted your head so he had better access, and when he moved his mouth, you moved so your lips met his. When he pulled away, he grabbed the pile of paperwork and your hand and led you away from the bar. He dropped everything in the office, shut off all the lights, and in the darkness at the base of the stairs, he gently leaned you against the wall and kissed you again. When you were breathless, he pulled his lips away from yours for a moment, moving his lips closer to your ear. His hands were on your waist, your fingers running through his hair, and his warm breath on your neck. In the dark and the quiet, he whispered almost reverently.

“I love you.” His fingers pressed into your skin as his lips found your neck again. You smiled, and then moaned, as he gently sucked and licked at your skin.

“I love you, too, Cas,” you whispered, feeling a warmth fill your body at the exchange. For a moment, you paused, thinking of Dean upstairs, and wondered how having both men you loved under one roof was going to work out. Cas sensed your hesitation, or probably just read your mind, and pulled his lips from your skin. He cupped your face in his hands and looked into your eyes.

“He loves you, too, and he knows that you love him, too, and he’s okay as long as he knows that. He doesn’t know how to say it, and he doesn’t understand it, but it’s true.” Cas gave you a quick, chaste kiss and then smiled at you. “You’ll see.” You smiled nervously at him and nodded. Cas led you up the stairs, and opened the door to your apartment, calling out to Dean to let him know you both were there. You took a deep breath and smelled wonderful cooking smells. Dean came around the corner from the kitchen with a smile on his face, and took you in his arms for a deep kiss. He held you a moment longer after pulling his lips from yours and smiled down at you. You felt like you were grinning stupidly at him, but he seemed to like it, so you didn’t care.

“God, I’ve missed you. But I have to get back in the kitchen or I’ll have a mess to clean up.” He gave you another quick kiss before rushing back into the kitchen. You looked at Cas questioningly, and he smiled that smug smile again. Before you could speak, he moved towards your stereo and hit play on the CD player. In a second, you heard familiar music coming through the speakers, and Cas smiled as he took you in his arms. You put one hand on his neck and the other on his chest, feeling his strong heartbeat as he swayed to the music. You looked up at him and wondered what exactly was going on with a smile on your face.

“We both came up here, ready to do whatever necessary to convince the other one that we deserved this time with you. And then we got to talking. It seems we both had something special in mind with this visit. We both intended on making a romantic dinner and dancing with you and, um, well, you know.” Cas’s cheeks turned pink, and you stifled a giggle at how embarrassed he could still get sometimes. “But, I’m no good at cooking, as you know, and Dean’s not great with the kind of music you like to dance to, so we decided to join forces.” He gave you a slow, soft kiss that made you melt. Just then, you heard Dean call out from the kitchen that the food was ready.

Dean had outdone himself with steaks and mashed potatoes that were out of this world. Cas worked on cleaning up the dishes, since he didn’t need to eat, and the three of you talked about what the boys had been doing lately. After the food was gone, Dean led you into the living room while Cas finished the dishes. The CD Cas had put on was near the end, but still had a little more than a song to go, and Dean took you in his arms and swayed to the music. You smirked at him, and he furrowed his brow and smiled.

“What’s so funny?” You tried not to laugh as you answered.

“You, pretending you like this music enough to dance with me to it.” Dean rolled his eyes while he chuckled, and then gave you one of his heartbreaking smiles.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” His lips met yours in a soft kiss that soon became slow, but passionate. As the last song on the CD started to play, he pulled his lips from yours, and resumed swaying to the music. You rested your head on his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck a little bit and humming the melody. As the second verse started, you stopped humming and sang along quietly. _She calls me angel and says, “Let me dry your eyes./You mean by now you still don’t realize/that everything I want is what I got,/So, angel, stop your thinkin’ ‘bout all the things you’re not.”_ Dean smiled down at you and kissed your forehead.

Dean’s hands were warm on your back and his thumbs were slowly rubbing circles in your skin. As the final chorus started to play, you moved your lips to his neck and gave it an open-mouthed kiss, drawing a groan from him. He moved one of his hands to your neck, tangled it into your hair, and pulled your head back so he could crash his lips into yours. His tongue seemed to map out your mouth, and when he had discovered every nook and cranny, he started all over again. The sound of the music faded into the background when you suddenly felt two more hands on your hips and another mouth on your neck. At first, you jumped, clashing teeth with Dean, but then Cas’s lips started working on the delicate skin on your neck and you moaned into Dean’s mouth. When Dean came up for air, you turned your head to look at Cas and he smiled at you for a moment before his lips met yours. Dean took advantage of your turned head to move his lips to the special spot on your neck he knew you loved and he started lightly sucking and licking until your nails were digging into his shirt. Cas’s fingers were pressing into the flesh of your hips until Dean moved one hand from your back to cup your breast through your clothes. Cas then pulled his lips from yours, and started lifting your shirt. Once your shirt was off, Cas immediately worked on unclasping your bra, and Dean pulled it down your arms, tossing it behind him. Cas’s hands moved to your breasts, cupping them and teasing your nipples with his fingers while Dean’s mouth found yours again and his hands moved to your jeans. With one hand, you held onto Dean’s neck, and with the other, you tried to reach Cas’s head as his lips moved along your neck. When Cas moved out of reach, you dropped your hands to Dean’s waist and started moving your fingers under his shirt. Your trek up his stomach was derailed when Dean got your jeans open and slid one hand into your panties. When he felt how wet you were, he groaned and pulled his lips from yours.

“Cas, you’ve got to feel this. She’s so wet already.” His fingers rubbed your clit experimentally and you gasped, your head falling back onto Cas’s shoulder. You felt one of Cas’s hands leave your breast and slide down your stomach to join Dean’s. Dean moved his fingers down and slowly pushed two fingers into you while Cas’s fingers slid into your panties between Dean’s hand and your skin and found your clit. Cas groaned as his fingers felt your wetness and your hips started grinding into their hands as Dean’s fingers went in and out and Cas’s fingers circled around and around. Dean’s other hand found your abandoned breast and he started teasing the nipple while his lips went back to sucking on your neck. Cas pulled his hips up against your back and you quickly felt his arousal pressing into you. You dropped your hand from Dean’s chest to his jeans and felt a corresponding hard bulge. A shot of warmth went through you and settled between your legs as you fully realized that you had both of these men as crazy for you as you were for them. As you palmed Dean and moved your ass against Cas, they both groaned with you as their fingers picked up speed. Your mind spun with the overwhelming stimulation of four hands, two mouths, and the duet of course groans coming from two men.

“Oh, holy, I’m going to…” Dean pulled his lips from your neck and groaned in your ear.

“Let go, sweetheart. I want to watch you come for us.” His breathing was almost as ragged as yours, and you heard Cas groan behind you at his words. With Cas’s groan, you felt yourself come apart around their fingers with a cry. Your knees gave out, but Dean and Cas were holding you so closely, you barely moved. Cas pulled his fingers from you first, licking them while Dean gently worked you through your aftershocks. When Dean pulled his hand from your pants, he made sure you were looking him in the eyes when he sucked his fingers clean. “You are so beautiful when you come, sweetheart.” You leaned back against Cas, and he supported you while Dean kissed you. When Dean pulled his lips away, he looked at Cas for a moment, and Cas nodded before Dean picked you up and carried you into the bedroom. You watched Cas follow you down the hallway, and sent him a loving prayer. As Dean lay you out on the bed, Cas stroked your hair and you saw a vision in your mind of Cas making love to you, thrusting into you slowly and moaning over and over that he loved you. Your eyes fluttered closed and you moaned while the vision danced behind your eyelids. Cas’s hand left your head as Dean climbed into the bed over you, kissing you deeply. Dean’s hands led his mouth slowly from your face down your neck to your breasts. He suckled and teased one nipple with his mouth while kneading, pinching, and rolling the other with his hand. You writhed and moaned underneath him, feeling the heat building up in your belly all over again. For a moment, you wondered if Dean was going to try to make you come again just from this, and you didn’t doubt he could do it. When your hips started bucking into his, though, he tore himself from your breasts and left a trail of kisses down your stomach. He tugged on your jeans and panties with his hands as he teased you with light kisses on your hips until you raised your hips, begging for more, and he pulled your jeans and panties down to your knees. He sighed as he nuzzled at the apex of your thighs with his nose, making you push your hips up and beg him for more, then continued kissing down your legs, pulling your jeans and panties off completely and tossing them to the floor.

You felt the bed dip beside you, and Cas settled in next to you, his clothing discarded. His lips met yours, and his tongue danced in your mouth while one of his hands found your breast. When his mouth trailed down your neck, he whispered words of love, pressing each one into your skin. His knee pushed between your thighs and pressed into your core, giving you welcome pressure against the ache that was burning there. You rutted your hips against his leg while his mouth found your breasts and teased your nipples with little flicks of his tongue. You were moaning his name and begging, though for what, you weren’t sure. All you knew was that you were building up again, and all you needed was just a little more, of anything. The bed dipped on the other side of you, and you looked over to see that Dean had undressed and was lying next to you, watching you and Cas with lust-blown eyes, his cock hard in his hand. You reached out to him with one hand, and he moved closer to you. You wrapped your hand around his, and moved his hand slowly up and down his cock. Cas shifted above you, and soon his mouth was between your thighs, licking and sucking on your clit while he pushed two fingers deep inside of you. Dean moved his hand, letting you take hold of him, and you stroked him in time with Cas’s fingers thrusting into you. Dean put his mouth on your neck, finding that special spot, his hands tweaking your nipples while his hips were pushing his cock into your hand. Cas curled his fingers just right, pushing into you and hitting your sweet spot while his lips sucked hard on your clit, and your second orgasm of the night ripped through you. Dean grunted as you squeezed him roughly while the waves of bliss rocked you.

As you came down from your high, Cas moved up your body, situating himself between your thighs, and he kissed you, making you taste yourself on his mouth. You realized that your hand on Dean’s cock had faltered, but he had wrapped his hand around yours, guiding it up and down. When Cas pulled his mouth from yours, he looked at Dean questioningly and shifted his hips between yours. Dean nodded, and you felt Cas line himself up at your entrance. You looked over at Dean, and he was watching your face intently. You licked your lips, and watched his eyes watch your tongue. As Cas slowly pushed into you, your mouth opened, and you felt Dean twitch in your hand. When Cas was fully seated inside you, you licked your lips again, and Dean groaned. You swiped your thumb over the top of him, wiping a smear of liquid from his tip, and pulled your hand away from him. His hips seemed to follow your hand for a moment, making you smile, and his eyes watched you while you sucked the liquid from your thumb. Dean groaned again and shifted up the bed while you shifted towards him as much as you could so his cock was at your mouth. As Cas started to move inside of you, you moaned, and took Dean into your mouth. Dean’s hand tangled in your hair, gently stroking your head as you ran your tongue around his tip and pushed him deep into your mouth, pushing against his underside with your tongue. You used one hand to cover the part of him you couldn’t fit into your mouth, and your other hand was digging scratches into Cas’s shoulder. You sneaked a peek at Cas as he was setting a pace with his thrusts, and you saw his eyes were glued to your mouth. You slipped your tongue out of your mouth to give Dean a long lick, and Cas’s hips stuttered along with Dean’s. Cas shifted just a bit, pulling your thigh up a little higher on his hip, causing him to go deeper inside you than before. He was now hitting all the right spots, and you starting moaning each time he hit home deep inside you. The vibrations from your moans traveled through Dean’s cock and he started cursing with every moan he felt. You couldn’t believe it, but you felt the ache building up in your stomach again, and you started trying to buck your hips against Cas’s to make him move faster. At the same time, you were sucking a little harder on Dean, and your hand was speeding up along with Cas’s thrusts. Dean’s body was almost rigid, trying to hold out against your ministrations, and when he caught your eyes, he saw how far gone you were, too.

“You’re gonna come again, aren’t you, sweetheart?” He grunted as you moaned around his cock in your mouth. He stroked your hair with one hand, and then moved his other hand to one of your breasts and started tweaking your nipple, then palming your breast. Your eyes closed for a moment, and his hand moved to your chin. “Open your eyes, Y/N, I want to see them.” You obeyed, looking up at him while his cock moved in and out of your mouth. Cas’s hand moved from your thigh to between the two of you, and he began circling your clit with his fingers. You almost closed your eyes as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through you, but you forced them to stay open. Dean looked down at you, letting another string of curses fly while the pleasure built up quickly in your stomach. “Come on, sweetheart, let it go. Come for us, Y/N.”

It was as if all you needed was permission, and your body convulsed around both Cas and Dean. As soon as Dean saw you go, he spilled into your mouth, and you struggled to swallow while your body rocked. Cas cried out your name shortly after, his hips stuttering fantastically as he came. Cas kept moving in and out of you while your aftershocks kept hitting, until you finally stopped moving. Dean slid down the bed next to you, still panting, and pressed his forehead to yours. Cas moved off of you and fell to the other side, pulling your back to his front and kissing your shoulder in between pants of his own. When your breathing finally slowed, Dean kissed you deeply, and then shifted so that you were pressed warmly between him and Cas. Cas wrapped one arm around your waist, and Dean did the same, effectively locking you in between them. Your eyes fluttered closed as you felt exhaustion take over. Dean peppered your face with little kisses while Cas continued lazily kissing your neck and shoulder.

“Love you both,” you mumbled as you felt sleep creep over you. Before you were completely unconscious, you heard matching mumbles from both Dean and Cas.

“Love you, too, Y/N.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! As I'm still new at this, I'll take all the criticism I can get!


End file.
